The REAL Reason White Men Don’t Date Black Women

I don’t know about y’all, but I am glad that some of the rhetoric about the dismal dating and marriage scenes for black women are starting to dying down. Now, even though things are pretty scarce for sistas, especially those with a degree or two, I sure don’t want to hear about it in mainstream media every day of the week. I mean, I have to live this life. I’m sick of Nightline, The Washington Post, and everybody in between making out like this is some new phenomenon. Please, we’ve been dealing with this for a minute now.

To be honest with you, when my husband passed away 7 years ago, I thought the only way I’d still be single is only if I wanted to be. Clearly in the three years I was tucked away in marital bliss (and by marital bliss, I mean all the rewards and challenges of marriage) things took a drastic change… for the worse.

There are many reasons for the change in the dating climate for black women. I don’t care to discuss them here. But suffice it to say, the pickings are pretty slim. So slim in fact, that there’s a noticeable effort by black women to date white men. Black women have long held fast to their loyalty of black men. Even when black men, especially those with money, started running to white women in droves, we remained steadfast in our faithfulness to them. Now that it looks like the brothas that fled ain’t coming back, and even more are joining the flock, sistas are finally jumping on the bandwagon to find love wherever it may be… even in the arms of a white man!

But little did sistas know, it would be a little more difficult than they thought. Why? Because white men don’t date black women. Yeah… harsh reality but true. There are many theories why white men don’t go black. A blogger named Abagond listed some common reasons on is blog: 1) lack of opportunity; 2) lack of education in (as in understanding of) black women; 3) lack of good looks in black women; 4) lack of friendliness in black women; 5) lack of acceptance among white friends and family; 6) lack of desire among black women. But he thought the primary reason white men don’t date black women is because: white men are racist; they do not want their sons and daughters to be black.

Now, I don’t subscribe to that at all. Sure, they may not want brown babies, but does that make them racist? I don’t want Asian babies, but that doesn’t make me racist. I thought his theory was pretty interesting but I would like to address theory #4 listed above, the lack of friendliness in black women.

I perused a blog written by a black woman several months ago that said the reason white men don’t date us is because we are perceived as mean, attitudinal, and sometimes even ghetto. We are loud, inconsiderate, and neck-rolling. She basically suggested we calm ourselves down to become more attractive to white men. Now, that stereotype of black women is just that, a stereotype. I know I’m a little kooky and over-the-top. But I know a lot of black women who are meek and mild… I’m just not one of them. But her suggestion to temper down our personalities, whatever they are, is asinine. I couldn’t tame all this fabulous energy even if I wanted to; not for a brotha-man and sho not for the otha man. Regardless of who I date, he has to accept a me the way I am. Kookiness and all. Just like I gotta accept him… the good and not so good.

Anywho, Sistas, I want to address the real reason white men don’t date black women. It is not because they are racist. And it’s not because of our strong personalities. Actually, it is quite simple and a monster of our own making. The real reason white men don’t don’t black women isn’t because of our image, it’s because of the strong image of the black man that we promoted for years. What do I mean by that? The sexual image of the black man that we help create is one who is well-endowed, virile, strong, and sexually pleasing. We have built our men up so much, that not only did that make them more interesting to our white counterparts, it also created a huge barrier between us and white men.

Real talk: The traditional image of black men is so strong that I believe many white men are afraid that they would not ‘be enough’ for us.

We already know that the male ego is extremely fragile. So what man, black or white, will set himself up to have his feelings hurt? Not too many. So, the real reason white men don’t date black women is not because of us, then again, it is because of us. It’s not because of our strong personalities. It is because of the strong image (sexually and otherwise) of the black male that we helped build. So there you have it! You can thank me later!

Note to white men: That well-endowed thing… it’s just a stereotype. And even if it isn’t, (which it is) most black women will work with what you have, as long as you treat her well. So white men, now that the myth has been debunked, feel free to rub up on a sista.

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That Teowonna!

Blogger, event reviewer, newspaper columnist, writer, editor, idea box, positive thinker and all around cool red-headed nappy dread lady!

219 thoughts on “The REAL Reason White Men Don’t Date Black Women”

  1. Oh, wow!! I think you’ve busted it open! I’ve dated white men in the past and this was all they talked about–your mention of how black men are built up. None of the other stuff even came to pasture! It was all about not being “enough.”

  2. Hi Teowonna,
    What a fearless analysis! I think you’re right, though. I can’t speak personally, but I have friends who’ve dated white men and there always is some underlying tension – I just couldn’t figure out what it was.

  3. I agree that the black woman has built up the image of the black man but somehow along the way we did not return the favor to you. However, I do find it that as a 28 year old young man who is college educated and would probably be considered “a good brotha”, I am often approached moreso by white females. It’s not because of the environment I’m from or live in but I do find that on any day I would get a smile or flirty glance from a white female moreso than I would from black women. I’m trying to stay loyal to my sisters but a lot of beautiful white women have approached me while letting me know all of their desires.

    On to your comment about black men being well endowed is a myth. I would say that it may be partly true. While all of us aren’t well endowed I believe if a census was taken of all of us compared to our white counterparts, we would probably come out on top. I’m not saying this because I am a black man but science has proven a la Nat Geo’s “Human Family Tree” special that blacks were more than likely the first ppl on earth (see Ardi and Lucy from Ethiopia) and we all know the biggest, boldest things come from Africa and as time progressed they became smaller or more domesticated (take the lion for example when compared to the modern day cat).

    All in all I agree with what you’re saying but you also forgot to add one reason us black men tend to run to the “other side”. That reason is because a lot of white women are willing to satisfy our every sexual desire while black women are deeply influenced by religious views that were foreign to their enslaved ancestors but forced upon them will not take part in certain sexual acts for those reasons. While I do not totally berate any religion, as I think Christianity can be good but at the same time some aspects of it, especially pertaining to sexuality have been dumbed down, eliminated or not talked about amongst Christian blacks.

    1. It seems that while a lot of black women like to brag on black men’s confidence in approaching women, more and more black men have taken the feminine role of waiting to be approached and it doesn’t even seem to dawn on the men that this is a bit peculiar and sad. They actually put in writing their resentment at not being approached by certain type of women…it never seems to dawn on them that maybe they should approach said woman instead of acting like prima donnas or debutantes. It’s a good thing that so many white women have been fooled into thinking that all black men are confident and manly just because theyre black or there would be a whole lot of silly black males who’d never get any play because they’re scared mice too afraid to approach women. Too bad many decent black women have yet to get the memo on this latest trend in gender role reversal in the black community and are wondering why few black men (accept thugs and lowlifes) approach them.

      1. It’s not about the reversal of gender roles nor is it about black men wanting to be approached. When SOME black women are approached by myself and other black men whom I conversate with they’re more than likely to get hit with that “ATTITUDE”. Furthermore who wants to approach a woman with a vain, disconnected, angry, woe is me look on her face. It also has nothing to do with role reversal, if you see something you like whether you’re a man or a woman go after it. In life we don’t wait for other things to come to us, You want that job you do what it takes to make yourself qualified for it and THEN you apply, you don’t wait for it to come to you because if you did you’d be jobless, homeless and a lot of other words that end in LESS. I wish the women with this attitude would quit this myth about how it’s supposed to be. The same women who complain about roles being reversed are the same who say “I can do everything a man can except pee standing up” and have this new feminist movement but when it’s time for you to do something that society, especially westernized society deems as “how it’s supposed to be” there is a mentality of I want to back down and be a helpless lady.

  4. I also want to add that a lot of black women (not all) need to lose the “attitude” and “stuck-upness” if they want to catch a good brotha.

  5. Very Interesting,

    I may be a anomaly as a brother who was married to a white (European) woman for 10 years and I am now remarried to a black woman and have just celebrated a 10th anniversary so I have experiential views from both perspectives. Also, I have guy friends of other cultures/races/national origin that would date black women given the opportunity so I think the racism thing might be a bit overblown. Marriage and children…well that’s another question but you must first establish a relationship before you decide to live happily ever after.

    To be honest, I really hate these types of conversations not because they aren’t relevant but there is so much generalization and assumptions taken. I’m not sure anyone keeps really accurate statistics so we all speak based upon our experiences, circle of friends, etc.

    Here is my two cents based solely on my experiences and humble opinions. Some of the characteristics that we complain about most in black women are what make them great mates. Some would say “Stubborn”, I would say “Persistent”. Some would say “Mean”, I would say “Direct”. Some would say they have attitudes, I would say they have “Confidence” or maybe a better adjective is “Resolute”. I could go on but I think you get my point. What some perceive as negatives are viewed by many of us as positives. I would much have a lady that tells me what I need to know instead of what she thinks I want to hear!

    Sisters, keep doing what you are doing!

  6. Marc: You’ve made some good points. Some sistas can definitely loosen up a bit. Just today I sat at a breakfast counter beside a man. Even though he got his food to go, I insisted that he sit and chat with me while I ate. We had 15 minutes of chit chat. After I finished, he purchased my meal. All because I was nice to him and engaged him in conversation. Conversely, I attended the Steve Harvey Morning Show taping this morning in Columbia, SC. I aksed a lady if the seat was taken. She said yes. I said ok but sat in the chair to get a good pic of the crew. I was going to get up when the man came back. Another black lady, who didn’t hear my first conversation, went off on me when I sat down. I told her I was going to move, but that was not good enough for her. She got loud and ultimately cursed me. All because I sat in a chair. I immediately thought: “That’s why people think we all are rude and nasty.” All that was not called for.

  7. I have a question: How does a man know how many degrees a woman has unless you tell him? And what does it say about a woman that feels she needs to let a man know how many degrees she has or that she has her own home or a nice paying job?

    I realize this may seem off topic but it really isn’t?

        1. I understand your point very well. I am not a proponent of a woman wearing her education and accomplishments on her sleeve. But it does seem to be in this day that the more education she has, the less likely she is to marry… and maybe even date. Every women doesn’t display her degrees. I don’t. But I don’t think it would be hard to presume that I am well-learned.

  8. I totally believe this is true, too! My friend, Jill, always tells me I need a strong black man because white men can’t handle my strong personality and attitude. My students and fellow teachers, who are black, all joke that I am white on the outside and black on the inside, but they say this because I do have a strong personality. I think this is because I grew up in a family of women. There were few men to influence us, and we had to do things for ourselves. I think it’s because women are survivors and fighters. A friend of mine who was a nurse in the NICU for many years said that the female babies who are born with problems or pre-term are much bigger fighters and stand a better chance at going home and having a normal life. I have been very saddened by the “pussification” of men, as I see it. I am sick of whining, complaining and blaming. Way to go girl!

  9. When it comes to human nature, there are points in common, but unfortunately the typical reasons rule. White men don’t date black women primarily because they are image concious enough to not want their image tarnished in the eyes of their closest associates and family who may not approve of diversity in their relationship. Ego, vanity, approval, etc is the real reason white men don’t date black women… they want some brown sugar, but most don’t see the risk/reward factor falling in their favor…

  10. Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, coz love is all there is.

  11. This is Interracial Love Magazine.

    Hi Teowonna!

    1) We have to respect the fact that interracial dating is not for everyone – but by many people’s standards, this presents yourself as being resistant… by way of racism.

    2) The “mean, attitudinal, ghetto, loud, inconsiderate, and neck-rolling” Black woman is a turn off for any race of men – but, I’d have to say particularly Whites who are not comfortable with this kind of social interaction.

    3) As a White male who has dated Black women in the West, East, and South exclusively for 25 years, I never felt I was a “consolation prize” for a Black woman who secretly desired to be with a Black man.

    Nor did I worry about the backlash from Black men for dating in their communities or feel like I wasn’t “man enough” to to replace the string of Black men in a Black woman’s past.

    Interesting article!

    Thanks :)

    From the Staff over at Interracial Love Magazine
    http://www.interracial-love.com
    “The #1 site for topics of interracial dating between Black Women and White Men. period.”

    1. Oh, hey! I recognize you!! So are you saying that regardless of the real reason a white man might not date a black woman, people are going to think you’re racist, just because of that fact?
      It’s very common for people to pull the race card on that, because they’ll assume it’s at the root of your preference not to. Rather than considering the fact that you simply haven’t been attracted to any black women – is that where you’re going?

      1. Yes. That’s what he meant. He clarified on twitter. He said: “The racism label is often used to describe White men who do not date Black women – are suspected of racism, not preference.”
        He also said: “The “consolation prize” was a reference to discussions that Black women are “settling for White men.”
        I understand now! But I never insinuated that black women are settling for white men. I never advocate settling… white or black!

        1. What’s preference? It’s only a “prefence” is you can give a rational reason why it’s your choice and believe that the person is an equal….if you can’t it’s racism…by definition.

          1. I disagree with that Art. People like what they like. I don’t have to explain it or have a reason for it. Why does it matter to anyone else what my preference is? Furthermore, we ALL are racist. Especially black people. We are some of the most racist people there are. My problem is when people try to make out like we aren’t.

    2. He was doing alright until I saw that staement about being man enough “to replace the STRING of Black men in a Black woman’s past.” Why does there have to be a “string” of black men? That implies promiscuity when I hear it.

      The term “Settling” for any man or woman places a lower value on that person than on others and should never be used when discussing a relationship or potential relationship.

      To Point #2: White men are just scared because they always bought into the sterotypes of both black women and black men and have not attempted to understand or know either. THey are the masters, we are the slaves. We come to them, they don’t come to us. No disrespect intended.

      1. I don’t think that the “string of black men” necessarily implies promiscuity….that string of black men maybe men that have had any type of influence on how she chooses a mate/partner (whatever) or someone she looks to as good male role models such as her father, uncles, etc. Just giving the benefit of the doubt on this one.

  12. Now Teowanna…There is also a history there that has affected the relationships between black women and white men. A history of white men raping black women and taking what they wanted. White men who previously felt that it was natural and okay to have a black woman, but only on the side and behind everyone’s back. So, I would agree that the most white men would not date black women more on the basis of what others (family, friends, co-workers, employers) think rather than a desire not to do so.

    Look at TV shows lately. Media has been promoting white men, black women relatonshps in TV. Michael Baisden has had several shows about it. But still we don’t see the black man-white woman relationships unless it’s drug dealer and crack-head or pimp and prostitute. In these TV programs we see the stereotype of the black male is unchanged and the desire of the white male is to be in a relationshp with a black woman.

    I think that history will lbear out that it was the white woman who sought out and pursued the black man somewhat in response to what white men were doing to black women. A black man would never had approached a white woman unless she sent the signals that it was alright to do so for fear of being lynched, beaten, or otherwise killed. I believe that white men created the well-endowed black man mythos to keep white women from black men and white women perpetuated it to justify their coming back. The mistque was overwhelming and curiosity had to be satisfied for the white woman.

    The bottom line is that race should have no bearing on love and if you, me or anyone else can find that love in someone not of your race then you have just improved mankind because it brings us one step closer to understanding one another.

    1. Art, your point of white men having black women on the side and behind everyone’s back is valid, but that same thing goes on with black men and black women. There are many black men who have black women on the side or behind everyone’s back. Sometimes its because they are married… other times, they don’t want their friends, coworkers family, etc to know about the women. So that pertains to black men and white men.

  13. So then, why don’t we just get rid of organizations like the EEOC, Labor Relations Board and the ACLU. If preference can be used as an excuse for not doing something, then employers could say “It’s my prefernce not to hire you” and hospital could say “It’s the hospital’s preference not to treat you”. These are some of the reasons why it should matter to me what your preferences are. Preferences are like the “Employment-At-Will” doctrine. I can hire you or fire you for any reason or no reason because it’s my preference. “Preference” is a mask. We use it to cover what we don’t want others to see or know. There is a reason why you prefer to choose one thing over another, always!

    To your second point, I agree…There are racist elements in both races black and white but let’s not mistake the cry for equality and justice for hatred.

  14. Everyone has expressed there points intellectual and eloquently. Therefore, there is not much I would like to add. However, I would like to say, one of the reason white women who are attractive to black men it is usual those black men who are wealthy. Secondly, brothas’ who are able to get a white women of status is because he’s wealthy and can promote her career/ Example,Tiger woods and the list goes on. Thirdly, from a historical perspective it was forbidden for a black man to sleep with a white women,so now this is there way of finally being excepted in society…… To have a white women as trophy piece. The forbidden fruit. Kayne said it best, he’ll leave your axx for a white girl. This is a good topic we need to have a forum on it, and bring both groups to the tabl.

  15. As a white man who has frequently dated black women I gotta say that a few of the authors points are right on. Nothing can turn my head faster than an attractive black woman. However I never desired marriage because I didn’t want black children. I did end up marrying a woman who is mixed latina and white, but none of this has to do with racism. I am proud of my family heritage and want to continue it to some degree. I am flat out not interested in 90% of asian women, but I dont think that makes me a racist either. Bleached blonde white women bore me, seems like they are everywhere.

    Pride and bigotry are not one in the same, and for Black women that will only marry black men, you understand what I’m talking about.

    The rest is cultural. Many black men see a strong educated black woman as a threat to their manhood… white men expect and appreciate education in their partner. In that regard a strong attractive black woman and white men like my self make a good match. I just have a problem with seeing 90% of my visible genetic traits erased in my offspring.

  16. I am a WM who has been in relationships with black and white females. I think there are attractive and butt ugly members of all races.
    The reason i would not quickly date another black woman and don’t freak out about this, is the sex. The stereo-type is that black women are more repressed sexually. I think that that just boils down to oral sex, supposedly most black women do not perform it. My personal experience did re-inforce that for me. This one woman, who is the mother of my child, was very reluctant both to give or recieve oral sex.
    I have never even seen this mentioned in any of the posts on your site. It really seems as if men and women of african descent don’t even like to talk about Fellatio or cunilingus. In fact i expect to see this post hidden or removed because i put those words in. My ex became very uncomfortable when i performed oral on her and was very uncomfortable for the 45 seconds she tried to do it on me.
    And one last thing on the subject of attractiveness of black females: the hair. It is a problem, i know it’s a sore spot. I’m trying to keep things real. It doesn’t feel very good, that really hurts things from a sensuality perspective.
    Don’t be afraid to discuss these things. Hiding from them and acting like these things( bad hair and sexual conservativism) aren’t there is not gonig to make them go away

    1. Storm: I didn’t mention the oral sex thing because honestly, i never thought that much of it. Thanks for mentioning it. But to address your point, I think generally speaking white women are more open to oral sex than many black woman. But trust me, there are plenty black women who love to receive and give… you just got with one who didn’t. So don’t write off all sistahs because of your experience with that one stick in the mud. She doesn’t represent us all.

      Also… about the hair thing. Our hair is different… bottom line. It’s not like white people’s hair for the most part. It’s more course than you are probably more accustomed to. But some people actually have an appreciation of that, especially black men since that texture is not foreign to him.

      When you date different ethnic groups of people (and different people period) you have to accept their differences. Maybe you just are you ready for such vast differences after all.

      Thanks for getting this conversation a new flavor and thanks for being real. BTW, I don’t censor comments on That Teowonna. I believe if I can dish it, I should be able to take it.

  17. I am a white male, and I dated, seriously dated, a black woman. It didn’t work out, but not for any of the reasons that most people would think – (namely the whole race issue). We had no family problems, no acceptance problems (and we really clicked in bed – my god) – everyone around us accepted us beautifully. I think we’d be married by now, but this particular woman just couldn’t accept that I couldn’t devote 100 percent of my attention on her, since both of my parents have health issues and my grandmother was dying of cancer at the time. It really was a bad timing thing, and I couldn’t make her understand that. She thought I was a mama’s boy, I think, but really I was fulfilling my duty as a son. I was forced to choose between neglecting my aging parents AND my dying grandmother, or catering to her every desire at that particular time in my life, I just couldn’t give her my full attention. I’ll never forgive her for forcing me to make that choice, because I think we could have been great. I’m over it now, but I have to say, I find myself attracted to black women like no other. I have flirted some, with black women, since my last relationship failed – but sometimes I’m met with a kind of hostility, or like I’m just joking around or something – like they don’t take me seriously. I mean women don’t fall all over me, but I’m not butt ugly either and I think I have a pretty good idea of who and who’s not in my league, but anyway – as far as the black women’s hair- I love it, all of it. My girlfriend would always want to put relaxant in it when she’d start thinking it was getting “out of hand” but I loved it natural – I mean it turned me on, big time and every time I see a woman with her hair out natural, I just get a really good feeling and I’m attracted to her. Black women are so damn beautiful it makes my heart ache. I can’t explain it. Any way, if there’s any advice you can give white men that would help them to be taken seriously by black women, I’d love to hear it.

    1. Hey Lazlo. Thanks for the comment. It’s unfortunate that you had a bad experience with that lady. That had nothing to do with race at all… just bad timing and probably the wrong lady. Anywho, I say just keep at it. There are so many black women who are seeking love in any race. We just want to be loved. I will also suggest being very direct about your intentions. Don’t pussyfoot around. If you dig her hair, tell her! Women sporting natural hair LOVE compliments! And since we don’t often find white men with a genuine appreciation for the beauty of natural hair, that would show you as being hip. Go for it!

  18. I find if I don’t have “Yale” all over me then all I attract are high school dropouts and dammit I’m a college graduate! It’s disgusting how many high school dropout sleazebags I attract whenever I’m not wearing my alma mater on me somewhere. I don’t think I’m being a snob but high school dropouts who can barely even read have this attitude that I, a college graduate with teaching credentials in several states, “should” want them and then talk about me behind my back as if I’d “snubbed” them; deprived them of something they are somehow “entitled” to. That, people, is the Black Man. Most of what approaches me is WAY beneath what I deserve in terms of education, upbringing (they’re all ghetto) way of life, likes and dislikes, and even the kinds of foods they eat. I mean, people have the audacity to act like high school dropout ghetto trash “deserves” a first year law student……? It’s not skin color (although usually the men like this who pester me incessantly are black) it’s class, education and upbringing. I find this more problematic because I’m Choctaw Indian and really don’t deserve to be attracting nothing but ghetto blacks.
    I grew up middle-class suburban college-prep educated which black people call “white privilege.” Black ghetto trash can’t tell these things unless I’m wearing “Yale” all over me, until I start talking, and then they get mad and sometimes retaliatory – and these are people who sound like the “Beverly Hillbillies” from the Deep South.
    So in answer to one of the above comments, you’re damn right I wear my education on my clothing. Without that I get treated like I look like a high school dropout unwed mother or drug addict. To this day I have to fend off surprise when I tell people I’m licensed to teach Math and Science – and that’s people of all races.

  19. OMG i am so happy to see a black woman be real about this situation on all these bw websites they go on and on about black women not being open blah blah when the reality is if black women were being approached in healthy numbers by a range of men from other ethnic groups a lot more of them would have entertained the possiblity of interracial relationships instead of being alone. Supply and Demand. There are too many bw bullshiting on the net putting the blame on black men for everything instead of looking at reality and the bigger picture you always see this bw blogger explain how a bw can get into a interracial relationship as if to say there is some mysterious way of dating outside one race. Is getting really pathetic, embrassing and desperate.

  20. Hello, this is a rare case to me. Most of the majority of white men are very racists. It is a miracle to me to find out a white man marrying with a black woman. I am not white, but I am light skin Hispanic gay who is hard of hearing who has never found a mate because I have learned there are lots of white men who are racists.

  21. due to our history we have had to prop black men up because society continiously tore them down, we were “out there” before they were. more accepted working in white people’s home and in the public sector before they could really. and i guess that has carried over for generations. and now were seen as a bit too “strong”. we shouldn’t confuse strong with stubborn because there is also a difference.

    if white men are so intimidated honestly i don’t think they are for us. most black women i know just arent that into white guys, and i have also heard this from white men. i think white men are alot more concerned about what friends and family think also when they date. w

    of course it depends on said white man and black woman, we are not monolithic people and are diverse. i just like a man who can approach me and not be afraid to be himself, white men seem to be the opposite most of the time, also why are WE always the one being asked to change, to be more approachable to him, to approach him, etc. men pursue women and i think as a whole that’s what alot of sistas respond to.

  22. First off, I am a white man. How I came to be reading this pile of self-flattery is interesting, but ultimately besides the point. As I understand it, you believe that white men don’t date black women simply because they have some kind of inferiority complex, stemming from the size of their penis.

    That would be an extremely narrow view to take. You are right that the male ego is easily offended, but let me ask you; since when has a small/average size penis ever stopped an alpha male( of any race ) from going after a girl that he fancies?.. not often

    No, the real reason white men are not attracted to black women is much simpler even than that. To put it bluntly, white men don’t find black women physically attractive. The aggregate looks of all black women do not satisfy the aggregate physical demands of all white men. There are of course exceptions, but over the average, that’s just the way it is. It’s not necessarily racist, it’s just a matter of tastes. Some people like pepsi, and some people like coke. Some men like dark skin, wirey hair, and big butts.. and some don’t.

  23. I agree with Greg. He was very truthful, even if that truth was something a lot of the black females interested in interracial dating don’t want to hear. I’m a black female myself, and although I’ve dated interracially many times, I can tell you that MOST white men aren’t checking for black females. Black women have this negative image of being overweight, loud, uncouth, etc, and a lot of white guys can’t get with that. Of course, not all black women are overweight, loud, etc, but a lot are. It’s just not an image that they care to be associated with.
    On another note, black women need to love themselves for who they are-if you’re overweight and unhappy, there’s a way to fix that. Otherwise, it will continue to perpetuate the negative stereotypes. Not in the name of attracting “white men”..I personally don’t give a damn if they like “wirey hair or dark skin” or not. I know my self worth and it doesn’t come in the form of validation from a white man. If they like me, and are genuinely attracted to me and the feeling is mutual, hey, why not? But to purposely go out of our way to create all these stories about why they don’t “want” us is ridiculous. Most men base beauty off of what the media projects as beautiful, anyway. Who do you see being held up in the media to such a high esteem? It’s definitely not black females. So, Greg was right. Most just don’t find black women attractive. And that’s ok by me. I’m not exclusively seeking them out, either. I think black women need to be open minded and explore other options, sure, but try to fix what’s at home first. Maybe it’s the TYPE of black men these women are going for? That can be something to consider.

  24. I’m a white man, after my 3rd divorce with white women. I decided to try other women. I dated some great Black and Asian women and married a wonderful Japanese lady. I left a couple of Black ladies crying. First Ive had many women and the tightest was a black women. Im not intimidated by them, but then again mine is well above average. Here is the bottom line for me, a good looking white man with a good job has plenty of white women to choose from and endless beautiful Asian women to choose from Black women say things like well there arent enough black men so go with a white man. It makes us feel like you dont really want us that you wish you had a black man but a white man is better than nothing. Well we have many options and Asian women love us.

  25. The white man again I Know there are many great black women, I dated some, sure I don’t want fat ghetto women of any race and there’s a lot of fat ghetto white women. But the reason I choose Asian ladies is I am convinced they really want a white man. Black women always say since there ar no black men then Im forced to go with a white man, sorry but your not going to get and keep a man with that attitude

  26. So what am I supposed to think I love this Black lady, we get married have a baby, I’m making love to her everyday building a life and future together and she finally finds a black man that wants her so she is gone? Thats my problem with it, as a white man I feel like second choice for black women maybe its based on penis myth I dont know, I think its more what based on what black wome say, they say I love the brothers but there aren’t any so I am going for Mr. White
    Heres the key and Asian women understand, if you make a man feel loved and wanted he will put up with just about any thing else.

  27. I will tell you now I moved to Japan with my Japanese wife, Japanese women are very beautiful they go to a lot of effort to dress nice look nice stay slim and act like a lady. They easily take White men and Black men away from white women. The good news is white women are spoiled rotten they are fat selfish self centered now is the time to take men from them it would be so easy if you dress nice look your best lose weight and act like a lady that appreciates men, then black women could easily take men from white women the way Asian women do, and who knows you may end up with a great white man that loves you very much and makes alot of money.

  28. This is a rather complicated issue…but, I would like to contribute my own observations (and comment on what some others have said).

    First of all, with regard to the popularity of black men dating white woman. I think there is an underlying sexual desirability between the two. For the most part today, black males dominate our most popular sports leagues (NBA and NFL), dominate professional boxing, and many Olympic track and field events. This leads to an impression of superior physcial prowess…which is then perceived to translate into sexual prowess.

    Again, if you look at the entertainment industry…you see much of the same thing.

    Now with regard to penis size…I would not say that the black male size superiority perception is entirely a myth. I spent 6 years in the USMC, and worked in the Adult entertainment industry for 12 years…and I’ve definitely seen more than my share of penises both black and white. From what I’ve observed, I would say that “on average”, there are more Extra Large penises on black men than white men. Although, there are definitely white men who are impressively “hung”…there’s just, again “on average”…more impressively hung black men.

    But, I would also stress that just because a man is black…his penis is not automatically larger…definitely, not always the case !

    Now whether or not that even matters is another topic…but, I do think there is an implied correllation between penis size and perceived sexual prowess.

    Now with regards to white women…in our western media culture…white women are often defined as the standard of female beauty. The vast majority of supermodels, actresses, etc that are described as being beautiful are white. I’m not saying they actually are more beautiful…I’m just saying that all men, regardless of race, are continually conditioned to believe that the most beautiful women (and therefore, the most sexually desirable women) are white.

    Now for me…I don’t buy into this so much. I think women of all races are extremely beautiful…and I would love to see the white woman’s strangle hold on Madison Ave. broken. This would greatly enhance the self esteem of women of all races, and encourage men to be more open to exploring relationships with women, regardless of their race.

    But,as far as black women dating white men goes…I think there’s an enormous opportunity for both to find wonderful, loving, rewarding, successful relationships with each other…they both just need to have the courage to break out of the stereotypes they place on each other, and the social conditioning their exposed to.

    I personally find black women enormously beautiful and sexy, and it’s time our media and culture began to appreciate them also…I would also like to say that when you are in love with someone (not of your race)…and you want to start a family with them, having biracial children should be the least of your worries (I’d say Halle Berri turned out OK..)People should be more concerned with having healthy children, and provided them with a stable, nurturing home.

    Anyway, Teowonna…just my thoughts…love your blog !

  29. It’s funny to me that black women are seen as sexually repressed. I guess I am the exception then. I have been with a lot of white men and for the longest time I preferred them because they appeared more open and into different things than black men were. That was probably the major reason why I wasn’t all that attracted to black men for a while. I was mostly exposed to very close- minded ignorant individuals who weren’t into a lot of the things I was. Not only that, when I would run into a black man that was along the same wavelength as me; he was mostly into white or Asian women. I have now sort of regained my attraction to black men because I have found a few that share my interests in music, film, and other aspects of culture who are attracted to me. I am still attracted to white men; but now I would really prefer to find black man who is just as open minded as myself. Then again honestly if I find any guy that I can really vibe with it doesn’t really matter to me. I guess there are a lot of black women out there waiting for their strong black hero; but these women need to wake up and smell the coffee. I may prefer a black man in certain respects, but I know to keep my options open. I am annoyed that human society has set it self up in a way to make race/skin color an issue to begin with. Even science has proven to us that the whole notion of race as we know it today is just an illusion that we have so foolishly created. We discuss each other as though we are all entirely different species of beings. We are all human and racism is a filthy stinking habit that we need to grow out of soon before it’s too late.

  30. Hello Teowanna.

    May I just start by saying how incredibly beautiful u are, I came across this blog, from a google search, and i love the way you write. i found the subject matter thought provoking and I have taken the time to read through your blog and all the comments on this article. LOL

    Ok so here is my two pence on:

    The REAL Reason White Men Don’t Date Black Women & Are Educated Black Women Better Suited For White Men?

    I believe this is definitely a cultural and social issue than anything else.

    I was born in lagos Nigeria but I have lived in London my entire life from the age of 6. London is one of the most diverse cities in europe. On any given day, you could see, an irish, indian, muslim, christian, jew, black, white, or asian travelling on the train, heading in the same direction. You could close your eyes and think you are probably in a United nations conference, cause of the rich and amazing diversity of languages.

    Despite this fact, England is probably still one of the most racist countries in the world. When I first moved to this country, I think the chance for me to date a white woman was more of a privilege and not what I was used to. This I believe is because of the constant images of white women, we see in front of us on TV as the preferred face of beauty the world over.

    The older I got, I quickly realised how false, this image truly is.

    My mother is a beautiful, strong willed black african woman. Holding down three sometime for manual labour jobs, to make sure we had a roof and food on our plate. If she hadn’t been strong and courageous. My sister and I may not have had the opportunities we now have.

    Not to say, white people don’t go through sh*t too. Its just that i quickly realised, that they just don’t get and understand certain things about our struggles as a race of people.

    I have a friend, who is a beautiful black female lawyer, she preferred black men, but was tired of the black men she came across in England. She decided to go Nigeria, and she is now married, to a very wealthy black business man, who celebrated her education and intellect.

    For myself, I am soon to propose to my beautiful black girlfriend, who is actually about to get her PHD in biomedical engineering. She spoke of black men, she met in the past who found her qualifications intimidating, but again. I believe this is a cultural and social thing than anything else.

    So I just want to say to all the black women, who are fed up of us Black men. Do not limit your search to just your city, or even country. Branch further, come to Africa, there are loads of very educated black men, who will appreciate all you have to offer and give so much back in return.

    I for one, love black women. I would pick a black woman everyday of the week, against the best and finest white woman, any media has to offer. Our women are strong, because quite frankly they have had to be.

    I am not alone on this, there are million of black men who feel this way too. I think it is sad, that a lot of black men, who are wealthy and famous walk around with white women on their arms. Yes it is their choice, but I think the media also promotes this image to dilute the truth which in my opinion is:

    White men, don’t date black women, because they can’t understand the cultural and sometimes social differences of our women. Most Black women who date white men, often have to suppress, and by that, ( I don’t mean talking loud or being ghetto.)the way they naturally may be with a black partner.

    I mean if we are truly honest here. Theres just somethings, I have come to understand. White people are intimidated by us in PERIOD. So their biggest weapon is the images they choose to show of us, and of themselves to us.
    If I ever do get famous, I would fly the flag of my beautiful black women, for the world to see, and if that can help just one more black brother see what he is missing, then I feel like my mission has been accomplished.

    Please don’t give up on some black men. We do love and prefer our black women. It’s just not what the Western media would have you believe, and spread your horizons.
    Your life partner is out there maybe just not in your country.

    Peace

    Mr Nigeria, Representing delta state.

    Where Oil flows and flows and flows…..

    1. Mr. Nigeria, Thank you so much for the eloquent and thoughtful response. You said a number of things that really got my attention. You encouraged black women to continue to seek black men, but perhaps one from other countries. That’s a great thought but I’m not sure many of us have access to an abundance of men from other countries. I also wonder about American black women and Nigerian men. There is this stereotype that Nigerian men are very controlling but you seem to be an exception. Can you speak to that stereotype? Also you compared adorning a black woman on your arm as waving a flag. I LOVE that! That is a very refreshing thought. Thank you again for your awesome response. Take care and best wishes with your wife.

  31. Hello Teowanna. You are very Welcome.

    To express the international relationship idea further. For those who would like to know what I mean.
    I will give you a couple of examples.

    My Uncle is a qualified Lawyer from Nigeria, he met his wife an America Doctor, while she was visiting her family in Nigeria.
    Their relationship, was really the first story that gave me hope. They were apart from each other for over a two years, conversing on the phone, and via emails.
    This relationship cause of the distance only helped to make their hearts funder for one another.
    It also grew in the most natural way, because of the lack of physical interactions we are all so use to expecting when we are dating.

    I think speaking from experience, when you truly do love someone, you want to be with them and only them in every sense of the word.

    I guess to an extent maybe that comes with growing up and knowing what we all want out of life and don’t want.

    I woul have never giving this long distance relationship a try if, I myself hadn’t been cheated on by my ex girlfriend.
    It may sound crazy to most reading this that, I could go from a relationship where I was cheated on to a long international relationship but that’s exactly what I did.
    In my old relationship I wasn’t exactly a saint either.
    I guess the pain of being cheated on was a lot more harder for me to bare than I had realised.

    When we broke up, it made me do a lot of soul searching. I knew what I wanted and didn’t want. In a sense I felt as though I was on a cross road of choices.
    I live on my own here in London. I have never had a problem with the ladies. To keep in line with your original theme. I even contemplated dating out of my race, when my ex girlfriend who is black had cheated on me.
    But I knew what I wanted, like one of your subcribers had wrote in your comment box.

    I want black children. I want to see the face of my wife and my own when I look into their eyes.
    I feel like we do not celebrate what makes us as black people great, and until we continue to push the white standard of beauty to ourselves, that’s where we will always be. Second best.

    I digress…. Lol.

    Ok so my Uncle was the first story I heard of working and growing to marriage.
    The second was a friend of my, he is a very successful photographer and graphics designer over here in London, also Nigeria.
    He also found love with his now wife, also an America black lady. It felt as though they were dating a lot longer than my uncle and his wife.

    The difference is, with the access of modern technology, they were always in touch constantly one way or another.
    Again I speak from experience.
    With things like, Skype, tango, FaceTime, what’s app, BBM.

    The list is truly endless to build a healthy natural relationship with someone, if you really want to make it work.

    Me and my girlfriend have been together now a year, and we see each other everyday, not just in the way most normal couples do.
    She is my best friend, because we have had nothing more to offer each other than our friendship cause of the distance, and when we have met, physically the tension and energy is truly incredible.
    I have been in a 6 year relationship in the past, and I feel like I share a better bond and connection with my partner now than anyone I knew in the same postcode.
    Hence my commitment to marry her.

    My sister met her husband in Nigeria, they have been married now 7 years with 4 amazing kids, two from different partners from old relationships and two nieces from their union.

    To answer your question about Nigerian men being controlling, I would say this.
    Again it all depends on upbringing and culture, as a Nigerian living in the UK most of my life I would say, I am maybe more accustomed to how society expects me to be as a man. Again like one of your readers had commented. Most men nowadays do not seem to have any backbone. This is a western trend I feel growing and expanding as women are taking in the more alpha make type role. I don’t believe this is accidental, I think it’s years of media programming via different mediums to push for such an agenda. But I digress…. Lol.

    I feel like that agenda hasn’t Yet fully surfaced in other countries out of Europe and America, and so when you come across most African Men, who have been born and raised back home.
    They still have those views of the man being the head of the home. They believe their role is to provide for their family as my sister husband does.
    He is an Alpha male, but that’s how it should be right?
    He doesn’t control my sister quite the opposite but he doesn’t share a lot of the weak minded mentality most men in today’s society share when it comes to relationships.

    I think women who are used to a certain type of man, may find this Alpha type male controlling. There seems to be a competition for power between men and women, and that seems to be more highlighted amongst us as black people. I feel like a lot of women would feel belittled to cook for their husbands and family everyday, even if the man may do it on occasion. Again I do not share the view of its a woman’s role to be in the kitchen, cause grew up around women and I honestly feel like it should be a shared and enjoyable experience.

    I just feel that black women in general would struggle to understand African men, if they set their standard to those they may come across on a daily bases.

    I feel like with most things with African, it’s just a lack of opportunity for most back home.
    Due to the struggles we face, most men and women I believe are actually far more educated than their European and American brothers and sisters. It just a lack of opportunity to work and earn a decent living that continues to keep us at the base level of the ladder.

    I hope I have helped to shed some more light on the questions u asked.

    Again I would say to the black women, do not give up on us. Spread your horizons. Mr Right is out there, you may just not be looking in the right place or country.

    x

  32. I am a 48 year old white male and agree a lot with what is said in her article. I myself have found many black women very sexy, attractive, and smart and would love to date but felt most mostly liked the “brotha’s” not white guys.

    1. If you would like to date a black women, I think you should confidently approach them. Every black woman isn’t open to dating white men, but many are. You may be pleasantly surprised…

  33. I like White men and other races of men and I don’t mind dating them but I would rather marry and date a Brotha at the end of the day. I am 16. I don’t think White men, most White men, like Black women. A White guy at my bus sais that he doesn’t like Black women and that ”a lot of things are wrong with them” when he was looking at me. And you didn’t know how it makes me. It made me feel sad.

  34. Its so sad how some people who are so unhappy with yourself fell black women is so getto loud an need to be more like anyone else by herself it use to be fun reading these comment but not anymore because its the same thing over an over people going out of there way to put black women down stop bacause ignorant set in an you don’t no fact from fiction because if you think black women are the only woman that’s loud getto ect ect it’s to late an black women stop fulling for that how can you want any man to love you an look at you as his black queen an you don’t fell that way about yourself remember if it was not for a black women there would be no woman or man.

  35. iam white, a male. i would not mind dating a black women and i have. i have never had an issue with race. the white men that are friends of mine agree on two key issues when it comes to dating black women. black women are portrayed as loud and un refined. i know this is NOT true for all black women. what we see the white male that is shows like the maury show, the jerry springer show etc. in my opinion shows like these do nothing more then expliot blacks and belittlies the whole black race. the movement of the black race should be to get rid of these type of shows and start to build a solid foundation of the true black people. this country has not only beneifited from the backs of blacks of this country but also from their minds. black people do have a place in this country just like th polish, italian, etc. it is up to the people of every race to police its own image. EVEN US THE WHITES

    1. There are just as many unrefined white people on Maury and Jerry Springer as there are black people. However, we (black people) don’t use that portrayal to paint the entire group of white people. It’s unfortunate that some white people can’t see beyond that.

  36. This is an interesting hypothesis, but sort of falls flat when you take into consideration well endowed White men who date date black women with the same frequency as normal guys.

    And we know it’s a myth about the well-endowed black guy thing we figured it out after our first “Hit the showers” episode or after one of our white girlfriends called it BS from personal experience.

  37. I too am a white male and without hesitation allow me to explain. Note that I am being 100%, I hope you will be as well.

    First off, it really is you. For the most part black women face MORE “resistance” from their own. An example of this is when I was flirtin with a girl and so was another dude (black). The people around us were majority black and began to notice that she was favoring me… so then the subtle “persuasive” remarks started to come in. At this point you can fill in the blanks.

    Secondly, I know this seems prejudice but I am being honest; I can see a black woman cheating on me. This is partially due to the statement above, “Black women have long held fast to their loyalty of black men.” This may be due to an insecurity on my part but consider the next reasoning.

    Third is a big issue. The Attitude. A lot comes down to the way you present yourself. When you meet ANYONE for the first time, it really is an interview. Do I want to date this girl or just quick do it and be out. Allow me to state the obvious that there is a DIFFERENCE between being hood and being black. It’s not cracker or white to not be hood. If you’re talking like you’re from the hood, we will expect you to act like it… how many rap songs speak of loyalty without also referring to the woman as a hoe? Hopefully you see my point but for example, Gina Torres from the TV show “Suits”… I would stuff and mount her like a prize, why? She is dignified, speaks normal, and respectful… and yes, she is smooooooookin; it helps. Can you really respect a hood-rat? Can you trust a hood-rat? But what do I see/hear… most black women are not datable for that reason.

    There are more reasons but there is an issue and I have to get back to work. :)

    1. Excellent comments! The only one I will respond to it the comment about cheating. The kind of black woman that would marry a white man has no more chance of cheating on you than a white woman. That kind of woman has long broken the mold. Now perhaps that’s not the kind of black woman you are attracted too. Maybe you prefer the woman who is partial to black men. Even so, that doesn’t mean she can’t be loyal to you. A have a ton of girlfriends, who are real sista-girls, that are married to white men. And trust me, they are loyal to their husbands against ALL men, not just black men. So you don’t have as much to worry about as you think.

  38. I am a white man who has dated several black women mostly outside the U.S. even though I am from there.. I have lived in south america for several years amd love black women.. If I moved back to the U.S> I assure you I would search for a black woman.. They have the most incredible bodies and sense of humor to go with it…

  39. Hey Teowonna

    I’m from Switzerland and a black woman. I goggled ‘why do white men not date/like black women’. So I found your side.
    I want to tell you story: my mother, black Caribbean, has 6 sisters, which are all married to a white guy. All my cousins are mixed, except my brother and myself. We got adopted by a white man, who married our mother when I was two years old.
    I grow up in a rural, very raciest neighbourhood (and we were the only black family for a very long tie), where I got beaten up and spit by white guys.
    Whatever, all of my female cousins are dating white guys, including me. And the funny thing is that the ones who were racist during my childhood are married to black women now. So, I really did not understand this. But my mother told me, that probably it was their parents who told them that black people are bad. But time changed. I moved to a bigger City because of the University and there it was the opposite: Nowadays, in the bigger Cities in Switzerland, black (women or men) are very popular, because they are exotic, unique and rare. (for a few they are still too exotic, too special and less ordinary). The opposite side is also strange because we want to be loved of who we are, like everyone else. What I try to say is that human are so complicated to understand, but I would like to understand. I know there will be no real reason, why or why not. Why some like me, why some hate me, why some beaten me when I was a child because of my skin colour and why those people are married to a black woman now. I would love to understand. I do believe that history has an influence, and I think the environment (family, co-workers opinions ect.) too. But it is like an iceberg: it is only the surface.
    After all, I tried to let those things behind me after finding myself saying while watching ‘Romeo Must Die’ with Aaliyah and Jet Lee: come on, seriously: A black woman with an Asian man. This is not going to happen’, while my new boyfriend half Asian half white sitting next to me. So I let all this interracial stuff behind me, because I realized that you never know where love will bring you (I never saw myself with an Asian man before) and most of the people in Switzerland do not care about this interracial thing any longer. Until I moved to Canada: That’s the reason why I goggled this topic. In North America they do not mix, not even for friendship, at least less than in Europe. This interracial thing is much bigger here, especially in America then somewhere else, I guess. It is not that some people this with their kind in Switzerland, but if they mix, it is just not a big deal. I’m wondering what you and your readers think about it Teowonna and what your theory is. Because even though it is just the surface, it tries to help to understand. And that is all about: Understanding and accepting why they think so. I’m wondering because when I’m walking with my white boyfriend in Europe, no one cares, but here I saw many (white and black, but more white people) turning their head.
    @ Arnold: But I have to say that my male cousins they don’t date that often white women. More Latinas, Asian black or mixed. So it is nothing about the forbidden fruit. My brother looks like Lenny Kravitz and he can get nearly every woman he wants: it does not matter the race or the statues.
    @ Northeast: I can totally understand this. I always thought this could be an issue for a person not to date or marry another race then their own. So I always asked my former boyfriends, if they mind a coloured child. And they never did. I am 30 years and I had 5 boyfriends, all were blonde with blue eyes, except the Asian. And guess what, they all got married to a black woman, even though it means that the blonde hair will be gone. I was surprised, because I do totally understand where you come from Northeast. But I’m curious about what you told your former girlfriends why you don’t want to marry them at the point where it got serious: Because you don’t love them enough or because you don’t want to have black babies? When I was with my Asian boyfriend I wanted Asian babies. I still think they are incredibly cute. But I guess everyone is different. Or the environment is different.
    What brings me back to my question: why is interracial relationship/ married such a big issue in North America? I guess black people are just seeing in different ways here, aren’t they.
    I know very long text. But I have to say it. Because this side seems to be serious with eloquent and well-educated people.

    I need to add:
    About the sex thing: In Europe it is even the other way around. Black women are doing more thing in bed and are more willing to try a lot of different things. It is so extreme that sometimes black women are afraid that some guy want to date them because they are sexual so open. In Europe people are little bit more reserved on the outside, so I don’t know if this ‘rumor’ is more like a blessing or more curse. I guess, we think it is more a curse. I don’t know why.

    Xoxo

  40. I am half Hispanic half white but look Italian so most just assume white so lets go with that to start. OK so as to why we don’t date or why we don’t marry or why we don’t have kids with or why we don’t have an attraction to….

    Guess what many, many, many of us do. Me and many of my white and Hispanic friends. I am not sure why we don’t ultimately end up with a sista. But I did :) I found though that my black women is a great mother, an educated person, comes from good stock, by the way she is attractive to me and she is very dark not a light skinned sista she is very blessed in the chest, she is not skinny she is thick.

    I have to agree with the lack of interest in oral…oh believe me she enjoys receiving but giving not at all no enthusiasm and certainly never ever ever ever ever ever a swallow LOL. She also has a lack of interest in sex to some degree.

    All of these things play into my next choice if and when I get a divorce and perhaps remarried. But guess what it would and will be a sista again this time I will just be more selective. I have two children with her and will not be having any more. Did I see myself having “black” children well yes I thought they would be darker they ended up being one very light and the other looks like an islander like sammoan or something. They are both handsome and intelligent and good souls. I am raising them right with t-ball and basketball and reading camp and boy scouts and hugs and etc…

    Do I think it is because white men don’t want black boys no I do not think so. I was very very very intimidated by the idea of her being with well endowed men in her past and there was one I am average as are most white men. When a man has 6 and he thinks wife wants 7, 8, 9, or bigger ya it is a problem. I found one that only had dated white so I thought I would not have to deal with that only to find out later she had been with one “big” one so Teowanna you are on the money on that one at least for some white men. My wife had to reassure me a lot on that after I found out.

    If you want to get past that and get yourself a non-black man then make sure you highlight strongly that what he has is mooooorrrreee than enough. Average guys need to hear that.

    PS. Yes I do prescribe to many stereotypes and AM SORRY FOR THAT I do think black women have shapelier nicer asses, I do think they have nice full lips made for well you know, I do think they are more athletic, I do think they have larger fuller chests, I do think black males have more athleticism and it did were off on my boys LOL, I do think black women are less into oral, I do think they mostly look for brothas and that makes them more unapproachable, I do think black males are taller and more well endowed, I do think blacks are better dancers, I do think blacks have better skin, I do hope and think that black women are more sexual at least than my wife LOL.

    And there are probably negative stereotypes that I believe like black women are more angry or loud but I look at that as a challenge to sooth the savage beast inside kind of thing make their life better and see if they calm down, I do believe that black men are less educated, I do believe more black men are not family oriented who knows why, I do believe black men are more on the down low than white men, I do believe that black men and in some cases women are more into drugs not saying white and Hispanics are not either, and I do think there are more black men that get incarcerated and or commit crimes at a higher rate again who knows why.

    Are these things racist… Maybe I don’t know I don’t hate anyone in fact like I said I prefer sistas and I like the fact my boys are black so not really sure if racist is the term maybe missguided but are any of these stereotypes true I don’t know but I can’t help feeling that way.

    1. I Like You! I like anyone who is willing to speak their mind and opinion without shame. You added personal insight to my theories. Thank you for that. I hope you and you lady stay together forever, but if not, there is many a sister who will scoop you right on up.

  41. In my wife’s defense of not enjoying sex she has really bad bad knees that makes sex a problem, it is from all the sports she played in high school. There is nothing she can do about it and there is nothing I can either we have explored EVRYTHING trust me for the last seven years we have tried everything. So just bad luck of the draw. I wish I was strong enough to overlook it but it is hard to not have an engaging sex life and be happily married. So try not to be mad at me forum for not wanting to give up sex for the rest of my life. :( I really am a good man and even staying married to raise the boys up first.

  42. Anyway like I said we do find you black women attractive.

    We are men and are willing to take you home damned are old fashioned parents if they can’t handle it we are men and could care less we have our own life and want to be happy.

    We do see ourselves having black children because we are interested in black to begin with so we obviously find something appealing there and would not mind it rubbing off into our children.

    We do like natural hair better than straightened hair nothing wrong with glamorizing it up a bit every now and then but we don’t need or want you to go straight for us or society be natural, curly, and poofie (fro) is ok with us in fact we think it is cool.

    We do worry about approaching you in person because we don’t want you to go off on us, white and Hispanic girls might giggle or just say no but we feel black women might make a production or it and are not sure you are into us so you will have to make the first move. We are reserved and will either say no thank you or hell yes but will not make you feel bad either way.

    We do worry about you being with monster endowed black men before us, and we feel 6 inches is not enough for your tastes. You will have to assure and put us at ease there no doubt.

    I don’t know if any of this clears up anything. LOL

  43. Oh and forgot to add my wife doesn’t like to cuddle, it makes me feel bad. She is just not very affectionate. And at times does not support me in my career trying to better myself and move up. I want a sista who will go to bat for me and has my back always, and like to cuddle. :)

  44. Hey Teowanna would love to have you respond to some of my dummy ramblings LOL. Get your perspective on it like to hear from the experts.

  45. Yes you ladies are intimidating for us white and hispanic men. There are some men that have major intestinal fortitude and are going to give it a try even if a black women were to get upset at them, but most of us are just a little intimidated.

    BBBBuuuuttt that being said internet sites are now making it easier if a sista does not want to date you because you are white or hispanic or both in my case LOL they just say no thanks in a reply e-mail or don’t answer back at all. That is much better for those of us facing the intimidation factor.

  46. So in approaching black women thank god for the internet LOL. But yes we are kind of intimidated and don’t like confrontation in that form, oh don’t get me wrong I will confront a black man in basketball if there is a hard foul I will stand my ground and even get into a physical altercation but we don’t know how to handle the situation if it is a woman and she is upset at us because we are not black and approach/pursuing her romantically in public.

    Anyway yes we just don’t want to make the first move over fear of reprisal. But after the move has been made by one or the other and accepted as a possibility we are all over that and will romance away :)

  47. I guess that fear is a combination of 4 and 6 in your article lack of friendliness and lack of desire, combining those might be one of the reasons we don’t approach in public.

    But that kills me it just hurts my heart, I wish it were not like that and we could feel more confident in which black women were ok with us and which ones still see us as the bad guy.

    Because there are so many of us that just think you ladies are getting the short end of the deal and just want a chance to give you what you want and make a fulfilling life with you.

  48. And we are not the bad guys anymore. I want to scream it to the mountain tops WE ARE NOT THE BADGUYS. We are just average joes that find you ladies attractive and highly value you as wives. But ya the sistas that see us as the bad guys also kind of ruin it for the rest the sistas because we get confused as to which black women like us and which ones hate our guts. Why hate?

    But I know there are some white men that are in the KKK and hate blacks but their numbers are so low and getting lower every decade.

    So a sista has to try by just sitting down next to us and engaging us in conversation thn ask us out later for a coffee at starbucks or something, if a public way of meeting is the preferred way of meeting for you.

    I tried that several times when I was younger but it never went anywhere I guess they were not into me. Getting to the asking out part was just too risky though LOL.

  49. Except one time, one time I flat out asked a black girl out I will never forget her name and the experience was burned into my head she got upset with me and got loud and started telling me how would her father or mother feel and that she could not see herself with a man with white skin, by the way my skin is beige thank you it is a natural tan thanks to the Hispanic part of me. She said I would make her angry if I said the wrong things to her and that she felt I would intrinsically be racist to her and blah blah blah. She went on and on for a while and then she asked me if I could ever see myself having black children and taking her home to my parents and showing the children to my parents. I finaly got a chance to talk and I just said yes I could very quietly. She was real angry. So I don’t know that kind of set the tone for me maybe that is why I now find it so hard to approach black women. By the way I met my beautiful black wife online back when yahoo had chat rooms and people met on there for free way before e-harmony or afrodating or interacialmeet, blackplanet etc… Now you ladies and gents have it so much damn easier to meet than when I started dating after college.

  50. She was in the mathematics program with me at Arizona State undergraduate she was maybe one or two years older and she was very nice and we studied in the same study group so I figured I would give it a shot she even played high school basketball and I LOVE playing basketball so I though we would hit it off. So we kind of knew each other a little not very before I asked her out. Then after she went off on me for asking her out and not being black she told me she doesn’t approve of people doing that and she never could. I wished her the best and maybe she found her black night to marry I guess I will never know.

  51. I’m half hispanic and half european and I’ve preferred black women since elementary school. All my sweet hearts were black growing up, and its always been that way. In high school I was able to convert some of the more rowdy black girls, one girl would always be rude to me especially when all her rowdier friends were around, and one day, I caught her alone, and confronted her about it, and I told her I liked her and wanted to go out, she dropped the bad girl act that same moment, and we made out for like an hour, and she was so sweet after that. I’ve always experienced that when I express myself properly to black women they always come around. I really crave African women, I love the curves, and smooth dark skin, I can’t get enough of it, I’ve licked a few girls all over there bodies for nearly 2 hours on several occasions, I love it, and I love black women, and I hope someday a black women will take my hand in marriage and bear my children.

  52. @kabdog: Thank you. Your post is an eye opener. Just that I don’t have the heart to make the 1st move.
    Am a Nigerian WM, and I’ve always prefered to date white men, if possible settle down with one. My previous work places created opportunities to meet the not ‘so good’ ones, those who wanted to have fun or someone at interval so it brought dissuades and doubts if it’s worth it.
    It’s my dream to have children of mixed blood. Sometimes its so far fetched.
    Online chats……..

  53. Prinuo you and other black women need to go online dating sites like afroromance, afrodating, interacialmeet, eharmony that is the easiest way you sift through non interested men faster no real fear of rejection or reprisal and no meeting men that are interested in sex only. That is the fastest easiest way to do it heck with a good picture and profile they might just contact you and you will just have a man buffet lol to choose from so hang in there give it a try nothing ventured ids nothing gained

  54. i think ur a pathetic blogger. ur racist against every1 except ur own kind and yet ur proud of it. yuck, we dont date ur kind bc of anything listed and more

  55. That is not true at all, well not in my case or in any others. unless he is from your dream. I personaly dont like Black weman because they are loud and the majority of them are Uneducated.

  56. Tewonna white boy and John are not representative of White Men. White men appreciate women regardless if they are black or asian or white or hispanic. Some of these white men might have preferences for one type of woman or another. Some of them prefer black women like myself. So if other ladies are reading this don’t think white boy or John represent all or even a majority of white men and or hispanic men.

  57. It seems like these two posters are simply trolls or trying to get a rise out of someone. Maybe if they did have a good strong black woman in their life they would not think the way they do and be more open to black women and dating them.

  58. Im a black woman and i’ve only dated white men because they are who im most attracted to. All the white men i’ve dated NEVER, EVER brought up the penis issue. All of them were very confident..(way too confident) when it came to sex. Honestly the only white guys i run into who seem to be intimidated by black men’s so called superior sexual prowess are fat unattractive rednecks. lol

  59. My wife did not know I had a problem till her past came out. She had lied about it to me because she was ashamed but when it eventually did come out she was surprised that I was not upset so much about her past but had trouble with the “one” big guy so to speak. In other words she had no idea I would or did have a problem with it because I kept it so very close to my belt it is something us men don’t like to discuss even with a wife because of our insecurity. So Janet you might be surprised to find out some of those men you have dated have had a secret if you could get into their brains.

    I know not everyone thinks the same this is a generality but Teowonna is onto something here she does have a strong point. You might not have experienced this but trust me it is an issue.

    I think the two things keeping BW/WM pairings low is what Teowonna brought up in terms of our fears of your past “large” black men, and the cloud of mystery of how we will be treated if we do make a move and you happen to be a black woman that does not like white men do to racial bias. I think these are the only things holding the two camps back. And I am not a redneck LOL but I did have these feelings.

  60. Hey Kabdog, Realy? Ok Im not sayning that all white men are like me, Or that all Black women are the same, But what i am saying is that most of them are like that. its about to get deep (warning) But from my point of view Black women are SOOOO anoying. Example one day i was pulling aout of my drive way and thier was a FAT African american women walking by, saw my two Germen Sherperd and started screaming ” Better get that dog”, I stoped and closed the gate quickly because i saw that she genuenly was scared of the dogs, And i explained to her that the gate was closed and that they were profetionoly traind,at this point i was calm, But when she told me to shut up and yet kept on yelling ( Better get that dog) well that just pissed me of. My point is that they are not the a guy like me would ever date or even be friends with.

  61. The real reason is that White men don’t find Black women as physically attractive compared to White. Cheryl Cole is their ideal date when it comes to looks: They love a *lightly* tanned complexion, soft hair, feminine face. And of course this is the reason why White guys can also find Asian women physically appealing because especially the Japs are quite European looking.

  62. NOT ALL WHITES ARE RACIST, just as all blacks arent racist, not all black men have big penises, everyone is different. i do agree that a BW beauty is alot of the time underappreciated, but i do not want to be like a BW, im happy with the way i am. and BW hate that BM date WW, ok so now that WM want their own women, there is something wrong with that? cuz BW feel bad cuz WM dont want them? well most WM dont like huge lips, and disporportionate butts(real or fake), big butts are not cool in the “normal white” cutlture. I have a j-lo butt and small waist and i get hit on by BM all the time but i dont find BM attractive, i like WM or HM.my hubbby is hispanic, cuz i found that the WM dont really care for my full hips and butt-i am a WW btw.we are alll different and beauty is diverse.

    1. Girl, that standard of beauty is quickly changing. And so are white men’s interest. This is evident by all the white women who are now seeking lip and butt injections. White men are now finding lips, hips and ass to be more and more attractive.

  63. Interracial Love Magazine:

    In reference to #3, why in the world, or out of the world, did you date black women for 25 whole, long years if they did not value you as a prize? 25 years? Please change that to 2 years. It would make more semse.

    I know that black women are conditioned to be with only black men, but that is not their fault. I remember a picture of a little white boy grinnng while pointing at a burning black man at a KKK “barbecue.” Who could blame that poor child for growing up hating black people? I am trying to drive my point home. Black people were conditioned to distrust, but love, white people. Some black girls will date white guys but soon lose interest because of apprehension, especially if the white guy seems to be only curious or acts as if he is afraid of the criticism of others.

    In hard times black women are made strong, sometimes too strong. Some black men feel that they look henpecked or punked when they have a strong woman. So, they fight to take the woman’s strength. It won’t likely happen. Some men confuse strength with dominance. Men with clear heads and good understanding value a strong woman. He knows how to guide that strength to positive uses, if he feels the need. Strong men can handle strong women. I know many. If a man is good, a woman would be a fool to disrespect him.

    Although there are some good white men who are capable of loving and respecting a good black woman, black women who are considering dating out need to be very careful because there are ravenous wolves out there who are waiting for the chance to devour an unsuspecting soul.

  64. I must add:

    What is with these men about penis sizes? A sensible woman does not want a hysterectomy maker. Men, Women are so misunderstood. All women, as men, are not the same. We are stereotyped so much. A minority of men have a great understanding of women. Have you ever thought that some women demand a large P because they are large themselves? Some men who are small complain about large women. People are people.

    Let me tell you. How many people have experienced or seen enough men to say which race is more endowed? Prostitutes and medical professionals may be able to give an informed opinion, but most others cannot.

    I worked in about five medical facilities in my lifetime. It so happened that I worked with more men than women. I saw everything on their bodies. I would not have been able to utter this next sentence if I had not had that observation. Italian men might be able to dwarf black men and Europeans. That’s my opinion, not fact. White men and black men are about the same–some small, some medium, and some reasonably large, and some hysterectomy makers. I have known many women who said they broke off a relationship with men because they were too large. Most women will not tell men this. Three women in my family told me that they could not handle the men. One man was Italian, and the other two were black. Women often complain about this.

    Getting back to a hospital where I worked. . . One young, white man was a very handsome fellow, who was mentally retarded, like a 3 or 4-year old. I was assigned to him and one duty was to give bed baths. All I have to say is that maye it was a blessing that he was a “child” because he would have frightened some women. Many, many women do not want heavily endowed men. A lot of women may seem disinterested in sex because they are trying to recover from the last act. Men, talk to your woen and get them to open up about these things. It is so common, but men do not seem to know this. Some women do not consider these men to be prizes. They are painful and a headache. If men would tell the truth some of them that are heavy have to find whores or women who have had 6 or 7 children to accommodate them. Some of these men are frustrated and cannot find suitable mates for this reason. I declare. I am a woman,but I do know. These men know that I am telling the truth! I had a few male family members who had that complaint.

    Do we all like chocolate ice cream? Some like lemon, vanilla, etc. My point.

  65. Lol at this blog entry and all the comments. No. I take that back. There is nothing funny about hundreds of people being mostly or totally off the mark. Seems no one hear has cracked upon one sociological or race theory book by bell hooks or Toni Morrison.

    All this talk of “preferences” not being totally not about racism (or internalized racism) is a joke. Preferences don’t develop in a vacuum. They are presented then positively reenforced until they set.
    Someone said white men are not attracted Black women physical was one on point but to say it’s because of “preferences” that happen to be Eurocentric traits (light eyes/straight) celebrated by a White Supremacist is not be accident.

    If you think most white people aren’t at least subconsciously racist then stay sippin’ on that Kool-Aid.

  66. I’m kinda late to this, but I’ll weigh in. There’s a’lot of things that make wm/bw relationships tough, but the number one thing is how sensitive black people are. White people make fun of literally everything(including ourselves). I don’t believe a black woman would understand this. Also no man wants to have children who don’t look like him. Humans are visual animals, and the mulatto child will associate with black culture, because that’s who they look more like. Would my half black son be interested in German(my other first language :D)? I highly doubt it. I’m a perfect example of this. My dad is a really dark man who’s half latino, and my mom is white. I got all of his white genes, and no latino. He’s my dad sure, but he’s not my people at all. I’m blonde with blue eyes. I don’t even consider myself Latino. Also a’lot of black people are really religious. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam make my skin crawl, and it’s a deal breaker automatically(I’m a Norse Pagan). Also a lack of knowledge of history. I don’t blame this one on blacks, but google “lost white slaves in America” The first slaves in America were Irish. It’s how my family got here. That’s why the black race lightened. Not because of mass rape, but because THE WHITE IRISH SLAVE MEN WOULD REGULARLY FALL IN LOVE WITH AND HAVE CHILDREN WITH BLACK FEMALE SLAVES. It pisses me off greatly that these people are totally swept under the rug. Sorry for ranting on that, but hey it does prove that white men are attracted to black women. 😀 It’s about socioeconomic factors, and the black men who tell you we’re all racist and “wolves” are just racists themselves. Gute Nacht! 😀

    1. Excellent comments and interesting point of view. I’ve never heard if the white Irish slaves and mating with black women. I see I’ve got a homework assignment ahead of me. Thanks.

  67. why “me” or my friend with “black/ African root” women do not date Asian guys?

    Sorry for any mistakes I really want to give my point of view in short time…
    I am a mixed girl Born in Europe, studied in Asian, Africa and South America but living in North America. I am mixed girl like they describe me here “chocolate with milk”, both of my grand parents, my dads studied a lot from really well know high University so I did.

    During my studies and in my work environment, I felt for 3 races as far Black, Asian Japanese and pure Caucasian dude blond with blue green eyes.

    – When in UK and in France, Asian, Spain: (Chinese and Korean MOSTLY) have really low consideration, stereotype, they stay together and are really dirty with any hygiene. They live in the same district most of the time a ghetto with call girl days and nights, illegal immigrant in dirty business.

    – When in Africa ( Libreville): Asian (Chinese..) Invested and make money, having dirty sex time with teens… and their sanitary conditions are as bad as the poor citizens living there.BUT
    Some got married and are talking the local dialect

    – When in North America I have all kind of friends 75% are Japanese or Korean or Chinese ….They all want Caucasian blond, blue eyes (and Tall for girls. They are playing the dirtiest tricks and the one night stand for it despite the appearance. Result:) Some want a real relation some others just to test the dream from the media and ads.
    My brother is married with an Asian without any big problems for people as they are quite from the same background and are both really cute.

    – In Asian: I did not see a lot of cute guys, then please stop to believe in j-drama or K-drama etc really. They find me hot, pretty and too smart for a dark skin…really friendly and easy going, something they’ve never expected from a dark skin except in the TV… As matter of fact they were even more afraid to date me but all did want to hang out with me
    Asian are not so shy even in their country, you have to break the glass, it is easier when they are far from their family like it was for me in fact.

    When it came to me these were the problem:
    – My family:
    For the male, Asian men are not welcomed even in a dream. The male in my family have dirty jokes about their “balls”, their sexual appetite and even more racism like we’re all at least 7’3 in our family he is just 7′ with this pitiful eyes all he will do it is works blabla.. believe me. The first time they heard about my potential date with a Japanese guy I did like it was the nightmare for me and retaliation.

    For the female: It is just criticism in depth like ” Is there any more guys in this earth to go for a yellow guy????”
    and by the way the same goes to Caucasian, my aunt asked me one day how can i Kiss a white guy? Meaning we have to be proud of our race by being mixed we should go back to our roots, grow in our community where they are really good established, rich and cute potential husband for me. You will not be happy, it will despise you and we won’t be able to get along with him and his family. The cultural gap is too big
    ‘ No one in my family is 100% black!!!)

    – My friends ( Asian, Black and White): They are into black ( so hot; boastful and successful) or white guys ( the dream of the beautiful baby within their social statue); yellow like they say ” why note ” but in fact it is a lie. Or they are just straight dating in their race for ever.
    They say to me you’re going to go die in Asia or what do u expect??? If it is just for sex and you will not be satisfy, even if I am not this kind of girl

    As strong as I can be, Dating an Asian was much harder than dating a Caucasian and much harder than dating into my race (but pure African or Arabic). It was impossible to date any guy from a lower social standing because of my family, my friends and the weird stirring eyes in the street and unbearable jokes and criticism.

    People forgot my background and think that I grab a Caucasian for money or social standard. Dating an Asian they were all pitiful for me. Every time we go outside the first thing is to introduce me a mixed black and something guy as me….THE SAME GOES FOR MY OTHERS BLACK FRIENDS IN MY SOCIAL NETWORK…..

    Then SORRY FOR YOU ALL FASCINATION NOT AT ALL, MY LOVE FOR ALL THEM WERE STRAIGHT FROM MY HEART. THE FASCINATION COME FROM THE PERSON NOT REALLY FROM THE SKIN COLOR. THERE IS SOME CUTE AND UGLY PERSON IN EVERY RACE. I AGREE THAT the attraction is important…

    For me the challenge will as harsh as it can be for him! Then thinking about it, Every on ei sunique then will have is own experience based on various criteria… I discovered a new expression BLASIAN COUPLE…. thank you

  68. Hi T,

    First of all, there are many sterotypes that persist in and permeate our society. Both races are guilty of this. This is a major reason why only one out of every 200 marriages are interracial in the U.S. For more detail, please visit http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/12-most-common-stereotypes-about-bl... . The argument is quite compelling and is a major reason why you dont see a prevelance of interracial couples BW/WM, even in major metropolitan areas.

    Second, there are enormous cultural differences between BW and WM. Approximately 75% of BW grow up without a father figure in their lives. This in turn has a profound effect on how they view men for long-term relationships. Without the loving, nurturing and caring support of a father figure in a nonsexual way in a young womans life, she has a poor point of reference as far as what constitutes a good and loving man in a long-term relationship. Instead, her reference point becomes the alpha-male, who is not interested in emotional and psychological intimacy, but only physical intimacy, and who will not treat her very well over time. If a man shows the need for emotional and psychological intimacy to her, she interprerts that as a weakness because her alpha-male counterparts dont exhibit that. Yet, she gets frustrated when these same alpha-males do not care enough to get to know her as a person, but instead push for physical intimacy very quickly.

    Also, because most BW are raised to be fiecerly independent (most had no choice), they tend to have less tolerence for working on a rrelationship through difficult times. Afterall, many BW have the attitude that, and Ive heard it a thousand times, that “they dont need a man”. With this frame of mind, it is far easier for the BW to just pack her bags than to work on the problem. Remember,ANY relationship requires a lot of CONSTANT hard work and dedication, even in great relationships.

    This cultural difference is a big problem in BW/WM relationships, even in cases where both BW/WM are openminded people.

    Lastly, many BW have the notion that BM are more well-endowed and can satisfy her better sexually. that is pure B.S.

  69. I’m late on this but I wanted to share my experiences. I am a BW. At a young age I moved from a diverse large city to a small, wealthy, prodominently white town for my dads job. All the schools i went to were some of the highest in the state so I’m very well educated. My parents are too so i never talked “ghetto/loud”. Ever since I remember people of other ethnicities have told me I’m beautiful as if they’re surprised. Some even go as far as saying I’m really pretty … for a black girl. It may be because my features are different since i have some white and native american in me. People have to ask if I’m mixed bc I have medium skin tone not light skinned but I just identify as black to simplify it all.

    Throughout high school i had nothing in common with WW. Most BW always give me dirty looks or disliked me & said I’m white washed. I think its bc Im well educated and use proper grammer. When I try to date BM with the same level education, they’re too busy chasing after the WW. And I wasn’t attracted to the cocky rich (some racist) WM at my school. I was too white for the black people and too black for the white people lol. So I’ve always hung out with the in-betweens: Hispanic, middle eastern, Filipino, etc.

    Now that ive started college in a new city there is a wider variety of white guys & I’m finding myself very attracted to them. Im thinking about dating them I just don’t think theyd be interested in me in that way so I just befriend them. Sometimes I see WM eyeing me but they never come up to me so i assume i was imagining things. I always know when a BM is looking at me but Im so used to the idea that WM hate BW that im literally oblvious to when one is checking me out bc im not looking for it. So when my friends point it out a wm looking at me I don’t believe it. I can’t take it seriously because they never approach me. I’m not stereotypical or intimidating at all! I’m very petite, friendly, polite and not loud. So I don’t understand why they stay afar if they really are interested.

    Also, one last thing. After I graduated high school about 3 white guys from my class started messaging me and texting me trying to talk to me. I thought it was odd bc I’d been in school with them for years and not once had they talked to me in person. It makes me think either they were too afraid to talk to me or they were embarrassed to talk to me. And now that we’re out of school they’re peers and friends can’t judge them and they can keep me a secret. Or maybe I’m over thinking ):

    1. Lana, welcome to the real world. And that is in response to everything you said! But regarding white men, yes, many of them are attracted to and interested in black women but do not approach. It’s an interesting and frustrating phenomenon. You can do one of two things… wait until one who is strong enough to approach you/step to you in a dignified manner… or you can start a conversation with a white man of interest and let him see that you are not one of those stereotypical black women that are portrayed on tv, which is what many white men are fearful of. Maybe once he gets to know you, he’ll feel more comfortable asking you out. But generally speaking, if a man, white or black, can’t approach you in an appropriate manner, then I don’t think you should be very impressed. Texting is a not an appropriate way to approach a lady, and you definitely seem like a lady!

  70. Im a white guy (southern european ancestry). I have dated a few black women before. WORST experiences ever! They tend to be materialistic, self centered and have really ”me me me” attitudes. They also seem to be comically unrealistic. I used to be one of those white guys that got upset when i saw a black guy with a white woman. Now i get why they do it. Steve Harvey hit the nail on the head when he said black women need to snap out of it. Lesson learned, sticking to white women from now on. 90% of them will be with you through thick and thin no matter what.

    1. And I think white men are spineless and looking for a trophy wife rather than an intelligent partner. See how ridiculous I sound? Your generalizations are even more so.

  71. Hi Teowanna,

    View of a white guy:
    To put things into perspective I never date blondes. For some reason, that has no real merit, I simply don’t find them attractive. When I see a blonde my mind says trashy and to run! Similarly, I generally don’t find myself attracted to black women; which is more cultural than anything. Your insight is interesting and pretty spot-on I think. To put it into perspective u can ask why is it that white men always seem to like Asians? for one whether or not its true we’re for Asian women what black men are for white women and probably a bit of our revenge or insecurity a white guy might have. Secondly Asian women generally aren’t loud. That kind of loud behavior is something a person has to acclimate or grow up with otherwise it’s a huge turnoff. Thirdly, there is a real lack of opportunity a lot of the time to really ever meet black women. Most of the blacks I knew in school hung out with each other. Most white guys were busy boning sorority chicks. Going out post college I don’t see too many black women out where I go. My work, sadly, there are very few blacks at all. I work with hundreds. There are tons of Asians however. So part of it is simply opportunity. P.s I live in Chicago and not Idaho to give that perspective. Maybe this is just me but I don’t feel culturally I have that much in common with black woman. This sentiment probably stems from the fact that I don’t meet many black women and well men are lazy and we simply fill in blanks with perception. Not right but its what we do. A good start to better understanding begins with a “hi”.

  72. As i read through the comments I’m at a loss for words.  First off I’m VERY offended by the lack of respect & compassion from the black women on this site for bm.  This wm/bw thing is deep as a pro black male (and that’s not code for I’m racist) i don’t understand why blacks period choose to deal with the very same people that have demonized and dehumanized their people, & then debate it while demonizing & dehumanizing themselves.  BW you all have failed the black nation man & women alike. How? Because the majority of you BW bashing BM for the sake of a WM coming to save you are the single black mothers who happen to hate the childs father (a black man) which you internalize and shift that hate to your black son this is the beginning of the hate cycle blacks remain in without knowing how or why, & no this did not start with our generation but it flourished within our generation. My point is that the WOMAN the first teacher of children are the root cause of these situations. You see everything is psychological & once you see it for what it is the resolve will come. Its very hurtful to see how no black woman commenting here has chimed in on a REAL BLACK MANS behalf.  Now when i say REAL BLACK MAN i mean that. I’m raised in the ghetto but VERY classy, educated, & a gentleman (which is not what bw are looking for). I made a point to say ghetto because when white people say ghetto it has a very negative connotation to it, however that’s where I’m from but NOT how i was raised.  I’ve stated above where i was raised & how i was raised which both plays big rolls in my life. Where i was raised I’m thankful for that because i know what its like to be without to be a have not which make me push harder for greatness. Second how i was raised to be a respectable gentleman AT ALL TIMES, my father taught me that ; ) i say this is a deep issue only because the past race relations in the U.S. between wm & bw as well as the bm & ww. BM were killed for just looking at ww & bw were beaten and raped by wm regularly.  I’m not saying this to bring racial tension I’m just giving you the big picture and it gets bigger yet I’ll digress. Keeping my comment on topic bw are not JUST NOW starting to date wm they have been doing it long before bm and wm, ie: Josephine Baker.  So please spare me the myth of bw just now dating out because bm are gone and not coming back. The irony is the same reason y’all left us in the past is the same reason yall jumping ship now, for position. Any man & woman knows a man has to work for his however a woman can just be added, hence the position thought.  Just like Josephine Baker & numerous other bw who dates out. I’m also not here to cause problems but if you’re going to examine an issue (with bm) please do with all variables  – ie: political, geographical, economical, systematical, etc… Because without those variables being examined properly you end up with skewed results. I’m as real as it gets people and as a black man i just want to defend, us. I’m for my people as a whole but look-a-here world my people are not for me or us collectively and dating out will not resolve the issue.  And i won’t even start with all the bs and baggage a bw has from not having a father equaling little or no respect for a man (any man not just black men) see we have to deal with y’all issues and insecurities as well as ours. I have been faithful to my sistas even though I’ve been lied on, placed in jail, child support (and she broke up with me and is keeping me from my son), assaulted, disrespected i still manage to stay faithful to y’all. My wife STILL can’t comprehend while I’m still with her. I have 3 degrees ( 1 in IT and 2 in business) she has a GED that’s the extent of her scholastic career. However i see her for who God made her to be.  She doesn’t get that and believe me its a ride to get her to believe she’s the only woman for me lovingly and lustfully. But i allow her to know everyday how beautiful and smart she is along with how much i love her. My apologies for the lengthy comment, God speed.

  73. StandStrongBlackMan…..seriously….STFU. I am Italian American. How many Italian Americans had slave plantations or were involved in the Atlantic slave trade? ….ohhh, right…NONE!
    My people, the Italians, were in Italy starving under a dictatorship were 14 MILLION of us died of disease and pandemics. In fact, Black people have been in America much longer than Italians have.
    Right…check your history…only the british, french, dutch, spanish and portugese were involved with the slave trade. The Italians, russians, norwegians, Irish, Scandanavians, polish, ukrianians, turks, ashkinazi jews, greeks and dozens of other white ethnicities had NOTHING to do with the mid atlantic slave trade. This whole slave bullshit is getting old. If you dont like white people, stop moving into our neighborhoods in droves! You dont see us moving into your neighborhoods….do you?

  74. TommyBobby – you’re an idiot. Why is it everytime white people try to be cool with blacks they always have to make sure they “assure” us they are not racist or children of racist lineage. I thought i was direct when i said things like “i’m not racist” or “i’m not trying to start problems here” what said to you the opposite? You see this is the bs I’m talking about. Its funny how white people (italians & all the others you named) HATE the black man ONLY, not the black woman you lust for. Don’t get all butt hurt at me for giving you the facts. Also I can care less about your peoples envolvement in the slave trade but you can’t sit here and tell me blacks are not called niggers by italians or any other nationality you named???? You see its the twisted indivuduals like yourself that makes it hard to date interracially comfortably. Your hatred for the black man (ONLY) shows like your gay pride flag. So all that history lesson about Italians you could save that for someone who don’t know how Italians and every other nationality you named views are of black people (mostly black men though). So your arguement is colapsed because you see blacks just as your fellow whites hence your last line in your comment “our neighborhoods” is racist & segregating in itself you fail dumb ass. Oh yeah pussy you got some homework to do now that will land you an easy A because you know this to be true. Now tell all of us on this site (including the black women you are trying to meet and date) how your family and people REALLY view us blacks, we’re waiting…..

  75. You forgot ditsoon, raisin, mulenyan, eggplant, bugaloo, spear chucker, porch monkey, spade and smoke.

  76. Excellent the last exchanges

    Thank you for loving,hating or to be in the middle of the road concerning black women, at least, you have a position. Sometime it is better than being hypocrite and neutral.

    Stereotypes are hard to kill from all races. And each experience is different.
    In Europe: the Asian except Japanese are low status despite their growing fortune, disgusting; hygieneless etc…Black and Arabic are in the same bag/ from Africa all poor and illegal status- Latino and Gipsy ghetto, drug…
    Born and raised in this old Europe, I am at least so proud, because I saw a lot mixed couple without the criticizing eyes I see in North America or Asian. In South America also it was quite comfortable to date and enjoy your “different” type of couple.
    Living now in Canada, after some studies in USA, I almost feel like in Northeast Asia.
    When in Europe, or California/NY(not all USA), I was dating all race then for sure met a lot of friends from everywhere. Here in Canada, where you see all citizenship, each of them is living in their “box”. 0% or almost no blending, even to make friends out of your race. Then they cannot understand why I have an Arabic father with an European Afro Caribbean mom.

    I think it is all about people mind and culture that is all. My ex was Asian, my boo is 100% Caucasian pure blond blue eye, I was the 1st colored women in his family , I was welcomed within the time in his family and even call his family as he does, “mom, dad, auntie”… We never with my ex or my boo came across these stereotypes or we are joking about it when people come up with.

    PS: When living in Brazil I was black chocolate skin- now in the Canadian Winter I am like a coffee with 75% of milk- Unfortunately I don’t have curly hair but “real” straight and long. I am not big, medium breast and butt- I like sometime to look neutral to detect judgmental people and believe me, I found out a lot more fake friends under some smiles. I have a MBA from a high ranked business school-speaks 5 languages without counting my 2 dialects…I am loud when I am extremely mad, I am sensitive, sometime really feminine, sometime just lazy to pamper myself … sometime I am up for sexy time, others times not at all… then who cares what the others are thinking about you; be yourself, accept yourself. If the guys wants to follow the trend and go for an Asian, good for him. If he wants to stick to white, well done as long as he is happy :-). but you can at least appreciate the friendship from others races.
    I think I’d date out of my race despite my parents refusal, or in my race if I like the guy. I may sound really Western girl for some men but they really like the fact that I kept my roots like speaking my dialects, my customs…( that what my lovers told me) And for me, White, Yellow etc are not a second choice because I cannot have a dark skin guy and vice versa. Better be alone otherwise…. It is just that at first sight my attention is caught by half blood or mixed black like me they are so handsome but I feel attracted to my opposite Blond Caucasian or manly looking Northeastern Asian (for me at least 6’ as me and not spending 1 hours to put on the baby cream lol…) + family value + ambition but love comes first. We cannot misjudge people personal taste…. If people do not like black, his bad 😉 lol
    Please dude, the black male sex prowess???? Which girl can refuse a man at first sight because he may have a tiny sex? I do not buy these craps anyway…you just need how to use your engine…we love the person and if you love you have to make some concessions and help your partner to be a better person if it is not…of course no one want a ghetto partner moreover if you’re not from …

  77. No, she started it, and now i am going to go Eric Cartman on her! She keeps trollin about ”REAL BLACK MEN” like all black men are Denzel Washington. She is a toolbox.
    Let me teach black people a little secret about us whites:
    Not many of us are racist. In fact, VERY few. Only the old timers are racist. Now..yea, of course we use the word nigger. If a black person cuts us off behind the wheel…yea, we will be like ”ahh you fucking dumb nigger”.
    But…we dont meet up in our living rooms and plot how to ”hang us some darkies”. If you are black, and you have close white friends…trust me LOL…they use the word nigger when your not around.
    BUT…here is the difference between us and blacks. ….We do not give a shit what black people think about us. Black people…on the other hand…ALWAYS worry about what white people think about them. Deny all you want…it is 100% true!
    I was in wal mart a week ago actually, and these three black dudes were walking through the store, talking quietly amonst themselves. I was looking at the DVD’s.
    As soon as the 3 black guys came close to me…..”YO NIGGA YO GOD YEA THEM CATS DONE LOST DAY MINDS”….then as they got about 10 feet away from me…quietly talking again to themselves.
    …us white people…we know why blacks do this.
    They are intimidated by us. Yea..im going to break it down right here.
    But…funny thing is…there is no reason to be intimidated by us. Whites…we dont give a fuck about what anyone thinks about us…so..we act white.
    Want my best advice? …just be yourself, and you will never go wrong.
    ”To thy own self be true”.
    You may not believe this…but my best friend…he is black. Of course i call him up and tell him ”hey lemmie get those sweet chocolate nuts”, and he just calls me a homo LOL.

  78. ..and just an FYI….most whites..we honestly think black people are really fun to be arounbd and cool. I would take a bullet for my best friend, and again, he is black.
    …on the level…most whites do care about blacks and love blacks. Im serious, dont roll your eyes. I am VERY serious actually. If something drastic or horrible (like a holocaust) happened to blacks…do you honestly think whites would just stand around and allow that to happen?
    C’mon now…we bailed the jews out..eventually..and if we bailed their high and mighty asses out, we will DEFINITELY fight for you guys.

  79. …just remember, when us whites finally get into it with the chinese…you better take our fucking side! ..and remember…whites are VERY VERY EXTREMELY TIGHT with the japanese!

  80. TommyBobby
    You forgot ditsoon, raisin, mulenyan, eggplant, bugaloo, spear chucker, porch monkey, spade and smoke.

    I told you easy “A” 😉

    I was in wal mart a week ago actually, and these three black dudes were walking through the store, talking quietly amonst themselves. I was looking at the DVD’s. As soon as the 3 black guys came close to me…..”YO NIGGA YO GOD YEA THEM CATS DONE LOST DAY MINDS”….then as they got about 10 feet away from me…quietly talking again to themselves.

    This is demonizing

    Now..yea, of course we use the word nigger. If a black person cuts us off behind the wheel…yea, we will be like ”ahh you fucking dumb nigger”.

    This is dehumanizing

    I’m happy you kept it real and what i mean by real is just as racist as any other white person (italian and every other nationality you named) I’ve ever known, including the white person with one (1) black friend he’ll take a bullet for. Lol, you whites kill me with that one there. On another note I don’t think you are in your living rooms plotting on darkies but now if “darkies” we’re in “your neighborhood” as you so eloquently put it then what would you do? Sounds like things will be a bit different on your side of the tracks, huh?

    TommyBobby, you sound like a racist that is upset his card was pulled. And for those of you bw that will date out knowing this is some wm rooted thoughts, I say go ahead and date out but when the big arguement comes and TommyBobby feels like he did when he was cut off while driving, and he slips and calls you a n***er b***ch then what bw? You can’t come back to us bm for help, sheesh we tried to help by stearing bw clear of dumb stuff YOU BW choose to be the wm doormat, while affirming you’ll never be a bm doormat, wow. Thanks for your thoughts TommyBobby.

    Now I have a friend whom is white with a black wife and he said he was raised to understand that the “n” word is not a good word and should not be used because it is dehumanizing to black people. However with wm like TommyBobby who is a racist along with his peers, which is the reason black men don’t like it when wm date bw becuz he DON’T RESPECT YOUR PEOPLE SO HOW DO YOU FEEL HE CAN RESPECT YOU? And that is the bottom line.

    Once again people please applaud TommyBobby for being really, real, thanks bro. Also you sound like an all around good guy that’s trying to smear the lines like me, and you know what TommyBobby? With conversations like these with people willing to hash out the issue by being honest we would be able to move forward in this country.

    Oh yeah I don’t buy the “culture” reasoning because if it’s a culure thing how are whites so easy to mix and mingle with other cultures? So the issue has to be racism and once we hash it out as people we would be good.

  81. That Teowonna! I’ve read all of the responses and some bm has made good points that you shot down, ie Marc J. H. Why is that when the wm in here say something that can be refuted also, thier comments are given kudos just like the bw comments?

    Oh I get it! This is black women making the effort to be with wm, gtfoh!

    Just like a bm said in the comments above bw give bm nothing but disrespect, think im lieing read your own blog, its rediculous the self hate. Your foremothers & forefathers are flipping in thier graves crying for bw have desrtoyed our nation completely.

    You must remember how nationalities becomes extinct, the woman. Just like when they came to colonize America and they killed Indian men, women, and children alike? That was so they decimated those “peoples” nationalities. No men, no women, no children, equals death of a people. Which is willfully happening in the black community now.

    In closing I’d like to address your side note to white men, it’s not a myth (with me) and I think if anybody treats anyone with any decency black, white, brown, etc… males and females this discussion or debate about bm and wm would be nullified, meaning black men treat black women right too so stop twisting the truth to fit controversial blogs.

  82. StandStrongBlackMan….

    Ok…you are right.
    Black men are strong. They have the penis of a god. They are smart. They are the best. We should thank god himself that they grace us pathetic white demons with their godly presence. Oh, black man, can i stuff my toungue up your butthole? I beg of you!

    K..now going back to playing guild wars while the rest of my people figure out new ways to split atoms, splice DNA, create mythology and science fiction, explore the universe and invent the next cutting edge technology for our japanese friends to mass produce.

    ..let me know when you get a bouncing car and a rack of new gold teeth. Oh , but at least you have teeth, which reminds me…time to go troll some retarded rednecks.

  83. ..oh..and BTW..maybe Teowonna has a valid point???

    If you black men would stop screwing trailer trash (which we place there purposefully all for you) and stop cheating en fucking mass…perhaps, just possibly, black women can be confident that their black men wont dick them over.

    Oh..BTW…my black buddy i was telling you about Him and his NON black wife just split up.
    Try and take a wild guess what he did within 24 hours….yup..you got it…screwing other chicks already.
    Yes, that is the truth, and ironically for some reason lol.

  84. tommybobby says – gee whiz and oh by golly I’m such a neanderthal! (then groans)

    “K..now going back to playing guild wars while the rest of my people figure out new ways to split atoms, splice DNA, create mythology and science fiction, explore the universe and invent the next cutting edge technology for our japanese friends to mass produce.”

    I thought you white people were smart, so your people just now “starting” to navigate the universe while lieing (mythology & science fiction) as usual, nothing new there.

    I don’t mean to rain on your perade but the blacks in Africa, you know the home of the GREATEST CIVILIZATION in human history to date? Yea those people, my ancestreal people??? Yea they already discovered time travel and know how to seperate space and time.

    I think white peoples issue is that the bm will NEVER say wm are superior to us. Now as a white male I know that upsets you knowing all the pit falls and traps of a systematic oppression that’s set up against the bm & we’re still here in your face like “f yall!” Doin what we do best, invent! And yea we blacks already how much you guys like us the way you guys always steal what we create and call it yours, ie rock n roll. 😉

    Your history is skewed do yourself a favor and READ more and I don’t mean blogs!

    Tommybobby as I stated before, you’re an idiot and from here I will bow out of this debacle because quite frankly your racist, oops I mean closed minded. Your narcissism is staggering and I’m pretty sure my “G.etting H.igher E.ducation T.o T.each O.thers” (G.H.E.T.T.O. for the slow ones – Tommybobby) ness is offensive to you also.

    Peace & Hair grease

  85. ”black people discovered time travel and they have the ability to separate space and time?”

    I can separate space and time as well with two white inventions..a watch and a telescope, dumbass.

    1. OK. It’s time to stop this. You two, GET OFF MY BLOG. Go find another place to house your narrow-mindedness and hatred. Both of you! Please don’t post anything else on my blog. If you do, I will BLOCK you. Thank you.

  86. Tommybobby – You really are as stupid as a box of rocks aren’t you? Lol
    Go trolling somewhere else crash test dummy aka captain crash test lol. Please stop while ur falling behind. And for your “white inventions” you speak of, you may want to do a LOT more research. Remember dummy if i (the black man) don’t teach it to you (the white man), you won’t know it. I’ll leave you a jewel to research, research the mysteries of the “DARK CONTINENT” they call Africa. Research it and weep , lol.

    1. OK. It’s time to stop this. You two, GET OFF MY BLOG. Go find another place to house your narrow-mindedness and hatred. Both of you! Please don’t post anything else on my blog. If you do, I will BLOCK you. Thank you.

  87. I am a black woman and I have date white males, too. I like black and white men but I must admit, I like all men, no matter what color. I like strong, educated, intelligent, outgoing men. I am very open-minded to everything. I think everyone is equal and has a God given right to be with whomever they choose. I read some of the earlier posts and by far the one’s that stick out to me the most are from the white men. They say they aren’t racist but use racial terms to describe black women. For example, a guy in an earlier post say’s he doesn’t want to have children with a black woman because he doesn’t want to mess up the bloodline. If that isn’t racist, I don’t know what is. If something comes from you and your blood, it is a part of your bloodline. Skin color is a pigmentation not a disease. Unlike white women who have to fry themselves in tanning beds to achieve what is natural to black women to please you all. But, I digress. Our hair isn’t wiry or bad hair. I know plenty of white women who have “wiry” or “bad hair.” Plenty white women spend their time in salons frying and coloring their hair to “look good” which is chemically damaging their hair just as black women do to achieve what is called “good” hair. Our hair is soft and beautiful, it may not be straight or wavy but trust assure it is just as healthy as any other form of hair. I am an educated black woman, I am not loud nor ghetto. I like to use proper language at all times. I am proud of my heritage but I think we are all human and should be proud of everyone. I wasn’t raised to be rude, ghetto, loud, or whatever stereotype is out there. My mother raised me to have dignity and to be proud of myself. To have confidence and standards. I was raised by both my parents up until my dad passed away in 2005 of an incurable blood disease. My parents were married 25 years but were together almost 30 years. I am light-skinned and so is my mother but my father was very dark. I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood and went to all white schools up until middle school. I didn’t have many girls as friends because the white girls didn’t like me because I was black and the black girls didn’t like me because I “acted white” (whatever that means lol). But, most black women who are “loud and ghetto” are not well-educated. I am sure if you are looking for a educated black woman, you will find her. I do agree that is time to stop this oppression talk because slavery was long ago and other races were enslaved, too. Racism is still alive today and not just in black/white cultures but in other cultures, too. When people see a middle eastern man, they call him all kinds of names and act afraid of him. If we as a people can get passed our own racist ways and open ourselves up to everyone, the world would be a much better place. And p.s. starting a sentence with, “I’m not racist but…”makes you sound racist. Just an fyi.

  88. Black women didn’t build up that image. The idea of black mens strength is demonstrated every by their dominance in all of America’s major athletic sports. How are black women responsible for that image? Also, the idea of the black mans size came from porn films were the biggest guys are usually black. Black women didn’t create those realities.

  89. Due to excessive and inappropriate comments on this post, I am deleting the ability to add new comments on this blog. Thank you for your comments and for reading.

  90. OMFG seriously i even apologized! i told you i would behave! you dont even have the ability to be cool and just give me a second chance…wow!
    fine w/e ill STILL be able to post comments if i REALLY wanted to if you delete that feature, all it is is a pain in my ass for a few evenings. anyway w/e fine i know ur reading this. thanks teowonna.

  91. White male here who does date black women but prefers white and spanish due to attractiviness. I do get offended when i see black guys with white girls because most are with them because of the false stereotype of big dicks and superior genetics which is complete bullshit. But i feel that when i see those couples that us white men are being conquered so to speak in that aspect so when i do date a black woman i do feel a sense of domination.now i think attractiveness plays a big role in why white guys dont date black females.dont get me wrong there are many beautiful black woman out there but they are just pretty in a different way.but i think the main reason for the gap is segregation of communities.predominantly black communities are severely racist towards whites and lower them down making them seem inferior which in turn turns off the black girls.but they are more attracted to the ghetto white guys and there are fewer there.now white communities theres is very few black woman so the availability for them is scarce.now as we get into the older crowds i believe that black girls expect white guys to have money cause their white.

  92. I’m white.

    Main reason I’ve never approached a black woman is because they are mostly all loud and obnoxious.

    I’ve seen plenty of pretty black women and I just can’t see myself with a woman that acts like a ghetto hoodrat… Now I’ve seen a lot of nice black girls that don’t act this way on a regular basis but they have all white friends…

    It’s that simple. Loud + mean = no white boys wanting you.

    I do love them booties though haha

    And no we don’t worry about other men’s penises… It’s all in the way most black women carry themselves… It’s not what we like… Plain and simple.

  93. I am a white english guy and have dated a few black women, i am seriously attracted to them and there has never been an issue with race not once, the way i see it, there are good people and bad people simple as that, race and colour has nothing to do with it, racism is just down to a lack of education, all people are generally decent when you make the effort.

  94. As a white man who has never dated a black girl, but finds them unbelievably attractive, I think there are a few main reasons why we don’t see as many white men dating black women as the reverse situation. Most importantly, I think, is the feeling of inadequacy that is created by the stereotype of the strong, tough, sexually virile black male. A lot of white men think that we can’t satisfy the black woman sexually (the stupid penis size myth) or that we can’t “protect” them as well (which is again I think not true or all that important, but our culture constantly makes white men out to be “pussies” compared to their black counterparts). Second to that is this idea that black women simply aren’t interested in white men, which I can tell you a lot of white men truly believe. I think this feeling of not being wanted makes us simply avoid the situation entirely for fear of rejection. I think cultural reasons have something to do with it, but to be honest my mom used to always tell me and my sister she would have no problem with us marrying outside our race, specifically marrying blacks (I think she found black babies cute, which is another can of worms I think is a litte… racist? IDK). The other issues so far mentioned also have a lot to do with it to some degree, and I wont lie to you, the high energy and confidence of black women is not something most white men are used to, as most white women just dont express their femininity like that (which is not better or worse just a cultural difference). The racism part I think is secondary at this point, though certainly present on both sides. I know that, personally, I’m trying to get past what are clearly my own issues and not let these anxieties get in the way of me finding the love of my life, regardless of color. If she is an educated, beautiful, kind black woman I will be the lucky one in that relationship :)

    1. JJR, thank you for your well-formed, well-thought out response. You made some excellent points, some I didn’t even think about. I absolutely love it when someone gives me a different and valuable perspective!

  95. I am a white 61 year old man who is married to a white woman. When I was in college, in the early seventies, I dated a couple of black women. What I quickly discovered was that they wanted to be Black first and a women second. One young lady in particular used her blackness to keep from trying new things: No oral sex, no ethnic or unfamiliar foods, lots of body hair, didn’t like any music but jazz or soul…the list goes on. She wouldn’t even go to a club where a banjo was being played because that was what they played in minstral shows in the 19th century. Granted, it was a time of Black Power. She was 20 had a 3 year old son and went to bed on the first date. I was not impressed. The other woman was only interested in someone playing her rent. I learned a lot from both and include it in the index of my life’s experience. BTW, I’ve been married now for 38 years to the same woman.

    1. I’m glad you made a better decision when choosing a wife. And I don’t mean race. The characteristics of the women you mentioned are prevalent in black women and white ones.

  96. The title definitely got my attention! This was a fun and nicely written article. I initially was on the defense because I am a Black woman very happily married to a White man. I think most of the reasons presented by the blogger are kind of lame. I’ve dated a decent amount of white men and most of the ones that have made the effort to take me out are past all of that. However, your argument that it’s about the image that we have created of black men and co-signed on is fairly valid. My husband didn’t really make a move until he saw me out on a date with another white guy. He also only seems to express any real concern or tinges of jealousy when he thinks a black man is trying to make a pass at me. Not in a weird pscyho way, but he’ll make a little comment when Black men hit on me. I’m not sure what he thinks is going to go down, but he definitely is dealing with some subconscious ideas that Black men have something that he may not have.

    On another note, I spent some time at an ivy league school that I will not mention by name. I noticed a trend the time I was there that Black women and men were incredibly desirable by all races. To be a Black woman or man in that school was almost like being a local celebrity. I then moved several thousand miles away and found a similar attitude in that city amongst young professionals. The point is that I feel that this discussion may not be relevant because even though I’m out with a wedding band on, a child, an extra 30 lbs of baby weight, and a hairstyle that desperately needs some assistance I still can’t stop white guys from approaching me – even in the SOUTH!

    1. Thank you for validating my point. Regarding the white men constantly hitting on you, you must just have ‘that look’… which is probably a combination of physical attribute, personality and attitude. That’s cool.

  97. One more note, I think all attraction is more about attitude than anything else. A beautiful and positive attitude is the most attractive possession any man or woman could have.

  98. I just wanted to say some things after reading the comments.

    Of course there will be men who don’t find bw attractive… all you do is keep it moving and not worry about it because there are plenty of other men that do (which transcends internationally). I am not “redbone”/”yellow” or whatever silly names people call light skinned people, but a medium brown and its usually white men that try to talk to me.

    I am a black woman who has dated some white males before and actually my fiance is white. Race was never an issue to us and the only people who gave us issues about it were white females.

    I wanted to speak up for StayStrongBlackMan in here. He had some really valid points so I wasn’t sure why his posts were ignored? I thought that was wrong because there were some disrespectful posts in here by other males, but when SSBM had the valid posts, he was threatened to be blocked. :/

    Also, it is sad how insecure some men are coming off because they believe that their size may be smaller than a former lover. I hope that was just an excuse. Seriously???

    1. Hi Quiet Reader. Thank you for your comments and perspective. The reason Strong Black Man was cut off is because he and another reader became combative with each other. They both were cut off. I was very tolerant until it became too racially charged. I’m not hosting a blog for racists, black or white, to rant and rave. Again, I thank you for your comments.

  99. …oh yea…and IM the one who apologized and i was ignored. Did cornyblackman apologize? NO!

  100. I have refrained from commenting on your blog because you have disrespectfully ignored me then blocked me. Even when TommyBobby kept being disrespectful and racist (even till now, read his latest post) I never responded, however the reason I’m responding now is for “A Quiet Reader”

    A quiet reader – I’d like to take the time to thank you for seeing the incredible amoumnt of disrespect in this post to black men and taking the time to ask That Teowonna! WHY IS SHE IGNORING THE FACTS?????

    That Teowonna! – This is a lie!!! ====> “The reason Strong Black Man was cut off is because he and another reader became combative with each other. They both were cut off. I was very tolerant until it became too racially charged. I’m not hosting a blog for racists, black or white, to rant and rave.”

    I already said I’m not racist so hosting for a racists? You have the wrong guy. Myself and TommyBobby got combative???? Well its a discussion what do you think will happen when points are pointed out???? However, I don’t think I was combative TommyBobby was, I was moreso just bringing his lies to the light (as any one of your readers can read and gather that.). I guess since I’m not all gung hoe about bw dating out (hence the obvious problem) I’m deemeed a racists, even though I’ve stated more than once (and will do it again now) I’M NOT A RACIST!!!!!!!! I’m just not a stupid as America would like me to be. The sad thing is that you never acknowledeged anyones post that did not agree with you, which is again wrong!!! However it’s your blog so you can silence the truth here like America does in real life. However the sad part is that someone who does date out of her race also sees the side you are not giving any credit to. Funny I didn’t recall you calling her a racist of blocking her, however your short respose said how you realy felt about what she thought about what I said. What I don’t get is why would you allow whites to disrespect black men and not stand on our behalf?? No you don’t have to answer that, your posts, blocks, and accolades says it all.

  101. You don’t need America to contribute to your being stupid. Your doing a fantastic job on your own.

    Expect my youtube vid response to this soon.
    I’ll post the link here.

  102. I have been with plenty of black women over the years. Now will I date a ghetto acting chick? Hell no! Will I date a white trailer trash chick? Hell No! It is always down to the individual and some women are classy and some are not. I began dating black women because they seem to be really attracted to me.I have been dating black women since I was in college.

  103. hello im a wm and first off i would like to say I’ve really appreciated all this info. i just got out of the usmc, and in my youth i was bisexual but seeing as I’m getting older i see no point in participating in any relationship i don’t think will be more then a flig (cause i just can’t see myself trying to make a family with another male) I’m exclusively with females now. anyway since i got back my girlfriend that i had been paying for while i was in the corp decided to spend the rest of my money and dump me… well im getting off subject lol point being I’ve always wanted to date a black girl and i see my current situation as an opportunity more then anything else. anyway so in a few months when i feel like i don’t have the baggage of missing my ex im gonna go for it. I’ve never really known how to approach girls tho, all my girlfriends were plutonic friends first. im not really too concerned about that penis stuff seeing as I’ve messed around and seen guys that are black and white and in my experience… well lets just say im not worried about it. also most my ex’s are strong independent women and im not scared or intimidated by that, and they all say they were really comfy with me in bed and made them really happy in thet department so im not really worried about that. i’d also say most of my close friends are black fellas so im not concerned about the whole not being able to conect to her cause her ethnicity. so i guess what im saying is everything I’ve been reading here says i shouldn’t have any probs, i don’t have any fam and if my friends gave me grief about who im dating… well im a guy and I’ve honestly never really cared what my friends say about such things so i guess the only thing i have left is to meet and approach a girl… so i was wondering, where and how? im not really sure where i go to find an african american woman, preferably mid to late 20’s (my age) but more importantly how do i approach a girl of this ethnic persuasion, what should i do on the first few dates? i know im asking you to generalize here, but generally speaking could you or any other bw on here tell me where and how they would appreciate being approached? specifically but a “normal” white fella, i mean i dont act like a “thug” or anything im just normal… a lil quiet.. i mean i can talk about grand master flash and the furious five and the rise of hip hop movement and its ascension to rap etc all day but i talk like a well read country boy cause i am lol anyway sorry for rambling and i hope someone can give me some insight seeing as im pretty bad at starting a conversation with girls in general, let alone a girl that might be skeptical of my intentions cause of my race

  104. Well, many white men dont feel comfortable with black women. They are strong women. White men have also very little in commom with black women.
    Blacks are also different in dating. A man must be aggressive. Asian women are easyer for shy white men to date. And asian women have much more in commom with us.

  105. @Daniel, are you serious? Do you know ALL Black women and ALL Asian women? Your comment sounds ignorant. There are plenty of shy Black women and plenty of aggressive Asian women. People have things in common based on interests and life experiences. Interests and life experiences aren’t dependent on ethnicity. For example, my husband and I both love the same music, movies, and activities and the families we grew up in operated similarly. He’s white and I’m black and I have more in common with him than any other man I’ve dated of any ethnicity.

  106. Of course white men and black women can have much in common. But people around them often dislike it. For a white man it is status to have a white wife.
    Asian and latina women can also be accepted.
    But a black wife for a white man will often give him lower status. That can give hem problem. So white men who dont can get a white woman get for example asian women. Asians are like whites interested in good education, good jobs etc. But there are some white men who find black women more attractive than asian women, yes. And whwn us whites complain about each other, – white women go to black men, and white men goes to asian women. So it is strange in our race. White men and white women have different tast.

  107. Amazing, the reason why white guys dont date black women is now because of their penis size? Geeze, its this type of thinking that causes us white men to not want to date black women. Ever think maybe its because 90% of black women are obese, have shorter hair than white men, and many other reasons? Nah, were just racist and have small penises. Great Excuse

  108. I am an English white male and personally, I love dating black women. Firstly, everyone has a type – blonde, brunette, redhead and so on. My type is black. On a primal level some of this could be instinctive on both sides as an coupling would ultimately lead to healthier offspring. I also love the feisty qualities that many black women have and the confidence.

    In my opinion there is nothing more beautiful than seeing a mixed race couple in love and being affectionate. From what I can see with a lot of my male black friends, they see open displays of affection as a weakness to their tough persona. This is a shame because many of them are decent guys who have been brought up with bad male role models. I was lucky enough to be taught by my father that women should be cherished and that displays of affection were completely enhancing to the “male image”

    It is dangerous to generalise as there are good and bad points in both cultures but there does seem to be a leaning towards white guys being more gentle, open and affectionate. For my part it is because I don’t see this as a weakness. Most people are surprised that I am gentle at all as I am a large guy with a shaved head and look like a stereotypical thug. I was a professional fighter for years so have nothing to prove and I don’t have to act like a tough guy.

    It may not be politically correct to say so but there are differences in the races which are largely cultural and I think that white guys and black women are ideally suited.

    The penis size thing just proves that Freud was right and that there is a preoccupation with it. There is less racial difference than people think and surveys that suggest that the reverse of what people are saying is true. One thing I know for sure is that I would love to one day have at least three beautiful green eyed babies running around with bouncing curls! I also want to be married to their mother and in love – holding hands. I can think of no higher status than that!

  109. I am married to a African lady and to be honest I think we were both worried about not stacking up in regards to the others expectations. My wife is highly educated, I walked out of high school and got my education in the army and mines after that.What really attracted my wife to me is simple and has nothing to with the whole black/white thing. Patience, genuine love, acceptance of who she is the way she is and I tell her every morning and everynight before we sleep that I love her. People are all different be it black, white, brindle or brown you just have to take your partner for who they are with the good, the bad and the ugly. Enjoy.

  110. I have a white boyfriend and we date because we like each other. Simple. It’s not because I hate black men and he doesn’t hate white women. We just like each other as people. I’m sorry if that concept is foreign to some of you. But there are people out there that do judge by the content of someone’s character. All of this race just seems so closed minded to me.

  111. Haha! White men don’t like black women cuz they don’t
    Even know how to make a black man happy! Why would they date down? O

  112. Jazzelle, you are so right, but do not mind post this kind of natural feedbacks, in here interracial date seems to be a miracle, gosh they appreciate only interracial battle- good luck people- I am the fruit of those dates and I am in and it is nothing but natural

  113. As a white man, I will not date a black woman or other non white woman period. I’ve had plenty of opportunities, plenty of approaches, but I always turn them down. I’ve always had lame excuses to give, but in reality im not going to tell them that its their race as to why I wont date them. I think the above list is definitely mostly wrong. My list: 1) I don’t want brown babies, 2) I don’t want brown babies, 3) I don’t want brown babies-that’s really the only reason for a white guy to turn down black women. Maybe on a latter note, you would lose face with your family if you came home with a black woman but 1,2,3 come to mind even before that even has a chance to come mind. Like the author says, you don’t have to be a racist if you don’t want your babies to look like something else. Sure some black women have angry personalities, but if a white guy were to date a black woman, she wouldn’t be your stereotypical black woman and would be as nice as any other woman. Also, I personally find black women not to be attractive, but every now and then (rare) you do find a black woman with a nice looking face. As a complement black women do have nice features, more than white women in my opinion. If a prospective white man didn’t care about having brown babies, just be nice, no ebonics, look well maintained (fitness as well as cosmetic products), and just be able to catch his eye.

  114. Eric I agree I’m not racist but I will not date white men period! I think they are not attracted at all. And I don’t want to be getting dirty looks…. Or deal with a white man’s racist family and friends.There is nothing excited about a white man period and I fear being found dead somewhere cause my white husband killed me….I will pass and I speak proper english well educatef and love black and latino me that’s sexxy… You ladies can havethe white men I will pass.

  115. I am a white guy. Full Italian ancestry. I have never dated a black woman before because they simply never show interest at all. They seem to be friendly the majority of the time, but when it comes to romantic interest, there is never any flirtations or advances and they seem to prefer black guys anyway. Most white men i have spoken with on this subject simply do not see black women as a possible romantic interest for the same reasons i have mentioned regarding myself. Another thing i have noticed is many black women seem to think white men have money. I can tell you this is far from the truth. Many of us struggle with low income situations, cannot afford college, come from welfare families, have households who struggle with drugs (meth, white peoples crack),have sick parents with cancer and have a hard time paying bills/rent and legal corruption issues. Many blacks do not seem to realize we have the same struggles many black families have and stereotype us as being ”well off’ which is disgustingly untrue. The only interracial dating i have ever seen is white women and black men. Please keep in mind that i live in New Jersey, the most densely populated state in america and just about the most racially diverse state as well.

    1. Yes. A lot of black women are not interested in dating outside their race. The same is true for all races, I guess. But there is a growing number of black women who are opening up to that option for a chance to find romance and happiness. And yes, you are right; all white men don’t have money and all black women are from low income backgrounds. Stereotypes suck, right?

  116. I feel all this is ALITTLE off it don’t matter how smart you are , are how dumm we all feel the effect..
    a man will feel how he feel an do what he do ,a black man,they think they deserve it all forgetting we were in these life long issues together
    I feel like they want the black women to become scum the (black man) some , an throw it in our face that if we don’t give in he will leave an go to the white woman and sometime when we break they still leave
    An how can u go up against a white women who will sign her life over to dumm stuff
    My black women are Queen an we are forgetting our worth… Running behind a presents that don’t want to be present ,it’s like they want more looking for something different ..
    I kno that some of these feeling could have came from slavery not being able to have want you can’t…
    An as if black woman strong minded no what she have on the offense because she feel that she’s on a cliff trying to hold on to what she losing slowly
    An to be honest that’s why we so strong in our religion
    Cause at the end of the day when we are hurt by the action we get from our black men
    We rely on GOD to help us with this strong emotions that we go through by ourself naturally to build our self up not to be hurt like that again
    So therefore we shouldn’t change how we are it come from something theres a reason why we are how we are
    that’s what make us ,today ,strong …
    Being aware ,giving attitude an all .. We forgive but don’t forget …..
    We got thru being wip ,in salve to have our men turn there backs on us..all you hear now day in music an commercial is how black men have a white women this an that
    Commercial of black men an white women have mix kids
    That why we would be call Mother Nature because no matter what life throws at us we come back even stronger…
    An not to mention how we are starting to her white women say
    That white black men like white women getting real cocky
    … I don’t dislike the fact of the couples
    It’s just really noticeable
    The negative feed back
    (I’m done )
    Very good topic

  117. I really don’t dislike white men I see some that are very nice looking REALLY!!!
    Though you try to stay faithfull
    But like I said we deserve to be love so go for it white ,black ,asian ,Arabian don’t matter..
    We all human an should be love equally …

  118. Vanessa and teowanna.
    I have no problems dating a black woman. Again, i am italian. I get VERY tan in the warmer months. I am attractive as well and thin. Yes, there are many good looking white guys out there. But it does not help when black women typically just shun white guys in public. I am at the beach all the time (i live next to it). The black women in my area aviod white men like the bubonic plague except for if it is forced interaction like customer service in a store or having to make a purchase. Again, they are very nice to us..but as far as asking one of them on a date..don’t even dream of doing that. Do you know how many black women i find myself checking out and saying to myself ”wow she is nice looking and probably a great person”, but, again, god forbid because many black women are told by the males in the black community that we are the ”bad white man” like we have plantations in our backyards lol.
    Black men , however, have no issues at all with dating (and typically screwing over) white women though.

    1. Hey. Expand your reach. Go outside your area. Quick question. Are truly interested in pursuing something serious with a black woman, or are you just curious?

  119. I am truly interested in pursuing something with someone who is wonderful, regardless of race.
    If they happen to be black, great. I do find black women attractive.
    What i am saying is that black women do not seem interested in white men.
    As far as expanding my reach, i live in new jersey. New york city is right next door. I live about a stones throw from the beach.

    Its not like i live in some trailer park in ohio. If i expanded my reach any more i would be in the middle of times square. Sometimes once a month or so, i actually AM there BTW.

  120. as a male white college student at an HBCU personally I just haven’t met any black girls who I find physically attractive. Maybe its the skin color, maybe its their features, I don’t know why I don’t fine them attractive. but physical attraction is like the picture of a food item. you’ve gotta make them want it. if I find a black girl that’s attractive too me and I like her personality then I’d date her. but I simply haven’t. i’ve had some great friends who were black girls but none that did it for me. just the truth, its not racist, its not affected by anything stated by some others, don’t take it offensively. some people like chocolate, some don’t.

  121. Knykills – you have to prove that lie to me because I know plenty successful rich black men whom are very respectable. You see as I said in one of my earlier posts its not the bw white people have a problem with its the black man just read all the stereotypical things being said about bm (& some bw also). However the question is bw how can the wm respect you when he doesn’t even respect your father? Are u bw that self hating that you all cannot see the wm hatred for your better halfs? And I’m willing to bet that all the wm on here with their stereotypical viewpoints will swear on a stack of Bibles that they are not racist and have one (1) best friend that is black….GTFOH, all of y’all need a reality check. Because whether u know it or not, except it or not, we are all a bunch our racist/prejudiced to some degree in America and one we all admit that well be cool.just like I’m sure being black thatteowanna has experienced friends and family with racial stereotypical views about white people, just like i have, and I’m pretty sure the white comments received the same racially stereotypical views about blacks from their friends and family, so why are we pretending this doesn’t exist people?

  122. We are all a bunch of racists? Please don’t speak for me. I am in no way racist or prejudice. I had the privilege to learn about diversity and cultural differences at a very young age. It’s good because I don’t judge people for what they look like or where they come from. It’s bad because I grew up kinda naive to bad racial tensions still are in this country. But let me stop you right there and say that you should not generalize. Generalizations are the root of all stereotypes and prejudices. Oh and don’t speak for me and call me a racist ever again.

  123. There are many poor whites. More so than poor blacks if you tally up the entire populace and compare it per capita.

    ..make no mistake.

  124. Teowanna, I love your blog but these comments make me sad for the human race. I realize there are some trolls here stirring up the s**t but mainly I see a lot if self hate and generalizing about what in the end amounts to not much more than a bad dating experience and the person needs someone or something else to blame. I guess it’s easier to blame race than admit that maybe you have some issues you need to work on to be a desirable partner. And it’s certainly easier paint everyone with a brush than have the balls to take a chance on the unfamiliar. Anyone feeling me here???

  125. Seems that black women just can’t win. If we date black men exclusively we are labeled as closed minded. If we date non black men we’re labeled as sell outs. If we’re reserved in bed we are labeled as prudish. If we’re adventurous in bed we’re labeled as stereotypically oversexed. For Gods sake even our hair has to be some kind of statement — if you straighten it you’re trying to be white, if you wear it natural you’re told it’s not conventionally attractive. Maybe someday we will be allowed to just BE and not told over and over the many reasons why we’re not worthy of love.

  126. @ Really?

    The only problem i have about black women is that they are never interested in white men.

  127. My opinion is that white men are just not as attracted to black women as black women are too much into the whole black thing: music, attitude, hair style and other things.

    Black people have created their own culture that white people are just not into, what do white men have in common with black women?

    Why would a white man want to take on a black girlfriend and then hang out with all her black friends listening to rap and complaining about white people?

    Perhaps the black girlfriend would expect her white boyfriend to start speaking like a black man and have a bad attitude.

    Black people in many ways have alienated themselves from white people, in the west anyway.

    I find white men are attracted to white women, Latino and oriental. White men do not go to Africa as sex tourists, they go to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, many white men fantasize about Japanese women, but not black women.

    White men also have thoughts that black women have large vagina’s, and are just not really into the very dark skin.

    I am a white British man and I could never see myself with a black woman, I just have nothing in common with them, I am not attracted to them, and I could never have a child with one as the child would just grow up confused, the child would grow up never being accepted as white and would then get into rap and not learn at school as it would not want to be part of the white system. The child if a boy could then get into crime and selling drugs.

    If I married and had a child with a Vietnamese woman for example, it would be much more easier. The child would grow up without any pressure to be part of a culture and music scene.

    There are too many social pressure with a white man being with a black woman, it would just be too much baggage to handle.

  128. @william – you say you are not interested in black women yet you take the time to find a blog post that’s 3 years old to go on a tirade about how not interested you are? Something seems a little off here. Same goes for the other posters here who claim to be white men who come to a black woman’s blog and drop a novel about why you don’t like us. Everyone has a right to their preferences but somehow I think white men who don’t date black women aren’t spending their free time posting on blogs about why they don’t. You’re not fooling anyone. You care a bit more than you admit (or you’re a bitter black man trolling).

  129. William, Being white in the UK and being white in the United States are two totally different things. Next to you guys, American whites might as well be light skinned black people.

  130. beachkyss, whats that supposed to mean “American whites might as well be light skinned black people” Are you saying that American white men have sold out or have forgotten where they come from?

  131. Bro, i am Italian American and i live at the Jersey shore.

    Next to brits, we are as ethnic as can be.

    The blacks here like to talk shit about whites which pisses me off, but even they know not to fuck with the cousins (italian version of ”brothers”)

  132. ..and yes, we are proud of our european ancestry. Dont get it twisted.

    Most whites have remained in that ”white zone” and the blacks know it.

    ..us italians here took care of that. We rock the clubs, sexy clothes, fat bootys, gangsters and swag.

    ..someone has to show them we arent all uptight skippys, and the bikers and neo nazis just pissed them off.

  133. well im a 59 year old white man.
    let me see …..where to start?
    First of all let me say that i have always found black women …..extemely sexy and possibly more honest about their sexuality than white women.
    So far as the black man being more well endowed…..yes i think that more black men have larger than average penises.
    ill be honest …when i was younger that probably would have scared me off.
    but as you mature you learn that there are a lot of things that figure in to sex relationships,people,,and personalities.
    i wish i had persued the friendship or relationships with more black women because like i said i find them very attractive and sexy!
    actually i think one of the biggest drawbacks for me was communication.when i was young black ppl and white ppl just talked differently….i think i was sort of afraid that i wouldnt know what to talk to a black woman about.
    But im here to tell you a lot of white men think black women are beautiful……!
    ill be honest….i really never thought black women were interested much in white men….maybe one of these days we’ll all be able to talk to each other more easily.

  134. I am a white guy.

    Black women just do not in any way give off any kind of a attraction vibe at all like white women do, so i kind of avoid anything other than short conversation about the news or weather with them.

  135. I wouldn’t say that was the main reason, but in some cases it’s one of them. I am a man of slightly larger size than the average guy but I am certainly not dissuaded from approaching an attractive black lady out of some silly “mandingo myth” nonsense. Being a good lover has so much more to do with techique than size. The black women Ive dated have cited the reason they prefer white guys is that the first time they made love to one he took his time with foreplay. Most of the black guys (the ladies words not mine)thought foreplay was an ESPN term in the broadcast booth! LOL!

    You have to make the lady feel loved and cherished and not like someone who could be replaced with a Krispy Kreme and a spritz of perfume on your pillow. I’m not saying all white guys are this attentive. When it comes to lovemaking there are plenty of clueless white guys, too! But, to hear the ladies explain it there is an epidemic in the black male community!

    I am basically a peaceful guy and don’t like a lot of drama. So I don’t like scenes. One black girl I dated was all about the loud obnoxious behaviour. I took her to a bar/restaurant I used to go to for lunch and a particularly friendly waitress that has served me for years was flirting asked me if I wanted my usual and touched me on the shoulder. My date was getting very agitated and about ready to let her have it. I calmed her down saying I was a regular there and she flirted with everybody to get big tips (which just about all waitresses do). Next she complained about the food and demanded I not leave her a tip! To appease her, I complied but got her to the car and said I had to go back in to get my cap. I left her a 30% tip to make up for the aggravation. I tried another date at a place I had never been to but she still acted like an ass so I ended it with her!

    I date whoever I find attractive and has her emotional act together. Your looks will get me to notice you but your actions will determine if I stay around!

  136. I don’t know about the whole penis thing, my personal experience has been one of fear of the attraction I have for beautiful black women.

    I used to work in retail and I would see tons of beautiful white women that I could freely flirt with despite possibly being beyond my reach, but I will never forget the day some very beautiful African women walked into the store; I couldn’t keep my eyes off of them like I was under some kind of spell, and I prayed several times that they wouldn’t come over to where I was until they finally left.

    I think a lot of white men grow up imagining themselves marrying a white woman and having white kids so they do everything they can to see other women as a lower tier so that becomes a reality without having to go out of their way to ignore these women. The problem for white men that desperately try to make black women into all ghetto hoodrats in their minds is that once you do see a black woman that obliterates that stereotype you are pretty much at her mercy.

    The white men here who say they think black women are ugly are obviously the kind of people I was mentioning and they better pray to God some black supermodel doesn’t walk up to them and sweep them off their feet(sounds funny and disturbing to reverse the gender roles like that, but that is pretty much the perfect description).

  137. i dont know which black guys she has been dating, but most endowment is part of the reason white women get “jungle fever” ask some of them!!

  138. John-
    i don’t think you have to worry about that.
    Black women are not attracted to us White guys.

    Tee- Your full of shit, because white women date hispanic men too, and hispanic men on average the same size penis as caucasian men.
    Many white women date asian men, too. Explain that one?

  139. The highest risk of divorce is in those marriages with white women. For both black and white males much better choice is black woman.

  140. Beachkyss-

    Most black men aren’t really that attracted to white women either, but they take advantage of the fact that many white women want to be with them for one reason or another.

    Black women have much the same situation with their relationship to white men as a whole, only a lot of them don’t know about it, or they can’t bring themselves to take advantage of it because of their preconceptions about white men.

    Once black women realize that not every one of them is going to get a black man they will start to go for white men more and more with the understanding that white men are the next easiest male group for them to get by far.

  141. Yes, so in other words, black women will ”settle” for us.

    No thank you.

    No White guy is going to want to play second fiddle just because a Black woman could not find a Black guy.

  142. Wow! This is on point. I was married to a white man for years and he was amazing in bed! Where as my ex boyfriend who was black 6’5 had a penis like a toddler! I felt as though I was molesting a child. So with that said, color has nothing to do with this sexual superiority myth in males. But this piece is on point, because when I am attracting a Viking King, or Vanilla Prince, I always make them feel manly because I know what they believe (falsely) that black men are supposedly “bigger” which is so not true. If people call me a white man’s “whore” I’m like yes you are right! I am MY white man’s whore in the bed, but when in public I am a classy lady who represents. I for one see nothing wrong with interracial dating. Ever since I was a little girl, I fell in love with Christopher Reeves “Superman” his dazzling eyes, beautiful chin and cheekbones. When I see a man with great eyes and high cheekbones, big shoulders it makes my heart melt. I don’t give two pig’s tails! White men are just as handsome and striking as any other race. I find them interesting too. I don’t see them as less or more masculine, I just prefer them. When I married my husband, it was not because he was white, I didn’t see his color, but I did not marry him just to be with a white guy. He dated me, treated me great, talked about the futureand asked me to marry him. I was raised in a white town in NY so maybe that was what developed my attraction towards nice white men? However as a teenager I thought I HAD to marry and only date black men? I did for a while. As an adult I married two white men, so I am not really believing white men are less attracted to black girls….not so sure about that? But a lot of them do prefer white women.My first marriage lasted 13 years and now I am married 3 years and he is my personal Superman!

  143. And also, white men don’t feel they are playing second fiddle. Most white guys who do love us, really enjoy the thicker vajayjay lips. You heard it here!

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