For the most part, I’ve always dated older men. Well, while I was in high school and college, I dated high school and college guys. But after college, I started dating men who were at least ten years older than me right away. It wasn’t something that I sought; older men just seemed to be more attracted to me… or at least more willing to approach.
After years of dating older men (and marrying one), I recently made the contentious decision to start dating younger men. Why after so many years would I make a lifestyle change? Well, as I get older and start contemplating getting married again (and making babies), I figure the closer the man is to my age, the better. You know, its natural to want to have someone to grow old with instead of someone who will grow old a season or two ahead of you. And another reason, (probably just as compelling) now that I’m 37 years old, I think 40-year old little baby-making organisms are better than 55-year old little baby-making organisms.
Did you notice that I called it a lifestyle change? That’s because dating younger men seems to be just that different me. Since I’ve been dating younger men (and by younger I mean men who are 2 to 6 years older than me) I can see a tremendous difference in dating the two different age groups of men. Just this weekend, for example, I had a get together at my house to watch the Mayweather-Sweet Daddy Sugar Shane Moseley fight. I guess you can tell who I was rooting for. An old friend of mine came by with a couple of his buddies. He brought several cases of beer and bags of ice with him. Since I had not anticipated beer, I had not cleaned out my cooler in advance. So he got the cooler from the back deck and started cleaning it up. When I chipped in to help, he said, “No Sweet Tee, let me take care of this. You go on around there and entertain, I will handle this.”
That made me feel so good! Even though I haven’t dated this man in years, when he came over, he had no problem seeing something that needed to be done and just doing it.
The following day, a friend from college swung by on his way back home. He came by to say ‘hello’ since we have recently gotten reacquainted through the miracle of facebook.(Thank you, facebook!) Now, this dude and I are not dating by no means, but I know he is scoping a sista out… that is until he reads this blog!
Well, dude and I caught up and talked about things of yesteryear as we grilled a couple of NY strips on the back deck. Even though my girlfriends had helped me tidy up a bit the night before, there were still a ton of beer bottles and other party remnants that needed to be taken to the curb for trash pickup. I asked my friend to help me take the trash to the road. When I asked for his help, I exoected to hear, “Ok.” Instead, I got, “What? I came here to rest!”
Needless to say, my radar went up and I must admit I was a little turned off (and teed off) by that. I’m just not accustomed to hearing that. The men I’ve dealt with or should I say the age group of men that I generally deal with, would never say that to me. I honestly believe older men felt it was their duty, honor and pleasure to help me. The older men that I dated NEVER complained when I asked then for something. Even more so, with all the trash and bottles that were left from the night before, I wouldn’t have had to ask for them to help. They would have seen the trash and would have asked, “Where is your herbie curbie?” I’ve NEVER asked an older man to take my trash out, or mow my lawn, or check the oil in my car… they just did it.
So, now that I’m dating younger men (and there are many advantages to that), I wonder, am I going to have to trade in chivalry and being treated like a lady and feeling like I’m not out here alone for some healthy sperm? Dang… that’s quite a tradeoff.
So below, I’ve put together some real life examples of older men and younger men that I had dated.
Older man: Had a key to my car since I have a special knack for locking the keys in the car. When I walked out of my building after work, I often found a sparkling clean car with a full tank of gas waiting for me.
Young man: ‘Borrowed’ my car and stayed gone all day. And then brought it back on ‘E’. Punk!
Older man: “Baby, where is your shovel? You really need to get your grape vine up off the ground so that your fruit won’t rot. It won’t take me but a minute to dig a hole and put your post back in the ground.”
Younger man: “You ate up all the grapes?”
Older man: “Baby, I’m gonna call my yard man and send him by here tomorrow to mow your lawn.”
Younger man: Just ignored the foot-high grass. Punk!
Am I expecting too much? Do older men have me spoiled and I just need to accept that younger men don’t do those kinds of things unless I ask… or beg? Or maybe not at all!
Now, there are a lot of positives to dating younger men. I want all the positives of dating younger men and to be treated like the superstar that I am. Or do you have to be 50 and older to recognize a susperstar?