Are Educated Black Women Better Suited For White Men?
Posted April 14, 2011 by That Teowonna!Quite a while ago, I wrote, The REAL Reason Why White Men Don’t Date Black Women. To date, it is remains my most read and commented on blog. Recently, I got this comment from a white man that I thought was quite interesting. If you haven’t read the original post, you may want to do so before reading his comment.
As a white man who has frequently dated black women I gotta say that a few of the authors points are right on. Nothing can turn my head faster than an attractive black woman. However I never desired marriage because I didn’t want black children. I did end up marrying a woman who is mixed latina and white, but none of this has to do with racism. I am proud of my family heritage and want to continue it to some degree. I am flat out not interested in 90% of asian women, but I dont think that makes me a racist either. Bleached blonde white women bore me, seems like they are everywhere.
Pride and bigotry are not one in the same, and for Black women that will only marry black men, you understand what I’m talking about.
The rest is cultural. Many black men see a strong educated black woman as a threat to their manhood… white men expect and appreciate education in their partner. In that regard a strong attractive black woman and white men like my self make a good match. I just have a problem with seeing 90% of my visible genetic traits erased in my offspring.
I appreciate the insight and candor of this reader. So what do you think? Do black men see educated black women as a threat to their manhood? Do white men value education and strength more than black men?
…u r about to lose cool points for following up that foolishness… all that “person” did was dress up his thoughts and give them to you as “insight”, when in fact, they are point blank his prejudices. he is too selfish and caught up on his “pride” to not love his own offspring because they will have lost 90% of HIS looks if he “goes black”… naw, he ain’t bigoted, he just superior… and u just ate up that cow pie he served you… I’m pissed T, for real, b/c I never would have thought that you would EVER participate in THAT…
This whole blog is straight up BULLSHIT! Girl Please…
I’m just asking a question. I really do appreciate anyone who is willing to be honest when their opinion is clearly unpopular.
Here is your real reason right here!
Anywho, Sistas, I want to address the real reason white men don’t date black women. It is not because they are racist. And it’s not because of our strong personalities. Actually, it is quite simple and a monster of our own making. The real reason white men don’t don’t black women isn’t because of our image, it’s because of the strong image of the black man that we promoted for years. What do I mean by that? The sexual image of the black man that we help create is one who is well-endowed, virile, strong, and sexually pleasing. We have built our men up so much, that not only did that make them more interesting to our white counterparts, it also created a huge barrier between us and white men.
Real talk: The traditional image of black men is so strong that I believe many white men are afraid that they would not ‘be enough’ for us.
We already know that the male ego is extremely fragile. So what man, black or white, will set himself up to have his feelings hurt? Not too many. So, the real reason white men don’t date black women is not because of us, then again, it is because of us. It’s not because of our strong personalities. It is because of the strong image (sexually and otherwise) of the black male that we helped build. So there you have it! You can thank me later!
Note to white men: That well-endowed thing… it’s just a stereotype. And even if it isn’t, (which it is) most black women will work with what you have, as long as you treat her well. So white men, now that the myth has been debunked, feel free to rub up on a sista.
You can justify it any way you want to… There it is in your own words!
hmm well i don’t know, personally i have met all strata of white men, i dated a white guy who had a straight office job , a computer programmer, a delivery men. in general yes alot of them are open and appreciative of a woman with education? but not all of them. i have met white men who were intimidated by my education, how i spoke as well as my blackness.
it takes all types, I would never glorify white men or make them seem perfect, they are not,. like all men and indeed all people they are flawed with their own insecurities and hang ups. some are jerks and some are sweethearts.
I found that guy’s post rubbed me the wrong way, and i know why now. it implies that yes he is attracted to a sister, he CAN on some level appreciate her beauty, ( as a woman) but on some level, to be adverse to having children with her reeks of haughtiness, dare i say racism! i mean if u can look at me and date me and lay up with me and all, why does the idea of biracial children scare you off so much? I am open to dating white men and other races of men, of coure i am open to having biracial babies, if i found the idea of having mixed raced children an affront to myself, if the idea made me woozy, i have no damn business “dating” white/asian/arabic men etc.
it reminds me of something iv’e heard from men who think they were being slick, or even well intentioned, i telling me they were not looking for a relationship, but they thought i was very attractive, and we could “hook up”. I’m good enough to lay down with but not to become a part of your life? im not having it.
i am glad he married a latina/ white woman because it saved some sista somewhere some grief.
I think the author is nuts. Who cares about what the children look like. who knows if 100 yrs from this your offspring’s will be black
white man who loves black woman who are better than white woman and google is racist as they always change the subject
I think the real question is “Should educated black women date other eductaed men….regardless of race ?”….to me the answer is definitely Yes !
Education is a social barrier…just like race, religion, social status, income, etc. And if an eductated black woman can find a more fulfilling relationship with an educated white man (or other race), she should go for it….why should she limit herself…?
In order for it to worlk, white men would have to lifted their limitations also.
This blog is very interesting and I am learning a lot already.
I find a lot of black women very attractive, I have just never figured out how to approach and relate well. However, there is that stereotype that black women are loud, some ghetto, have attitudes, are very demanding (at least my close black friends say this) and not well educated. While that is not the rule, I do sometimes find that to be the case (I live in Atlanta). Plus, there is a feeling that a lot of black women don’t have much interest in white men or other men that are not black.
Thanks for your comment. There are all kinds of black women (just like there are all kinds of white women). Just find the type of woman you like. The world is a big place. Don’t limit yourself to Atlanta. One more thing… woman (all women) love confidence. Approach with confidence and that’s half the battle. Good luck and go for it!
That man does not speak for us all some of us don’t mind, even want, even prefer black children. Why???
OK this might sound stereotypical but blacks are more athletic, have better looks, are more diverse genetically (that one is actually a factoid from some study done that people of African descent have a wider genetic range ), are better singers, have bigger members/units/wewes (trying to say this a nice way without foul language LOL) etc… Why would we not want are children to pick up some of those traits.
So he might say this because he is in some sort of ubber high class of wealth but us average fokes like our kids to win at t-ball and basketball and have nothing to worry about in the showers after PE.
So there I said it, it had to be said. If it is based off of some stereotypes then whatever hey at least they are the good stereotypes
.
I find with my own kids many of these stereotypes hold true but that could be genetic luck of the draw. I also could be looking at my kids through the proud dad glasses, buuuutttt I still like to think they are superior in life competition with others in some ways and I like to think I had something to do with that choosing a black woman to have kids with.
PS. There has to be some validity to all the better athlete stuff with the NFL, NBA, MLB, track and field, the summer Olympics, etc… The best athletes are always black so why not want your kid to get some of that. If black men want to pass on sistas and dilute their gene pool a little hey the white men will pick up that slack and strengthen their gene pool.
Sorry if that all sounds racists but sometimes discussion of racial differences sounds racist. HEy these are just ramblings of a crazy but average dude.
I have one BA and two MEd’s so educated sorry if I don’t sound very educated though with my generalizing stereotypes it really is hard not to believe them.
You know maybe it’s a case of a stare off…
Kind of like well I don’t know if she thinks I am a bad guy as the white man is bad or if she is more progressive and thinks we are good guys nowadays…
And on her part it is, I don’t think he likes black women or would want to marry one…
So we each just sit there each wanting to approach each other but neither making the move because we feel the other will reject us in a very harsh way. That is why the internet is so great like minded don’t have to worry about rejection in that sort of way.
I feel the same way .. there is a lady that lives above me but I am to afraid to approach her. she is educated and really not bad looking. She looks like a classy lady. I am to chicken to ask her
Buck up man! She’s waiting on you to make your move.